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NeverHundred

Age/Gender: 22, Male
Location: Tops-ham MAINE
Job: Philosopher for Hire

You say anarchy, I say government you say temporary, I say permanent You say disillusionment, I say wonder You say talented, I say neverhundred.

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Entry #116

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NeverHundred

Waking up at the office...

Posted by NeverHundred Oct. 23, 2009 @ 7:01 AM EDT

I woke up on the floor of the accounting office. Thing is I don't really work here, I'm not an accountant at all. I'm not even good with the maths. But such is the life of the wandering nomad you see. The internet connection is really great and there is less shame in using it than using library connections. But this place is not unfamiliar to me, I've lived in this offices before. Back when I was a trail worker for the Lakes Association or whatever it was called.

Oxford county is... I don't know, being this far inland kind of makes me paranoid. Sure there are all the little lakes and whatever... but how can one be free so far from the open seas! I do not know. But this was a place I had one of my finest break downs back in '07. I don't think most of the accountants were pleased. "Oh, it's the boss's crazy son. Why couldn't he had brought his less crazy son, the one with the short hair. Who quietly created art instead of smashing guitars through windows and threatening to cut themselves with the straight razor." oh yes, those were good times. Yes, yes they were.

I'm going to rake some leaves and maybe paint a porch today! unless I go crazy first. Let's see what happens... oh right, you're not here to see what happens. That's okay, I can slowly go mad by myself. Or can I? One needs an audience to properly go mad.

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The People Have Spoken

7 Comments

Oct. 23, 2009 | 7:30 AM Sinitech says:

Do it naked.

For the lulz.

Oct. 23, 2009 | 7:38 AM NeverHundred responds:

I just might do that. Though it loses it's shock value when people expect it.


Oct. 23, 2009 | 8:24 AM Sinitech says:

Nah.

Seeing a naked man painting a porch would confuse anyone, regardless of if they knew it was going to happen or not.

On a some-what related note, I'm currently drinking my coffee in the nude.

Not really. I'm always fully clothed.

Regardless of what I'm doing.

Oct. 23, 2009 | 8:42 AM NeverHundred responds:

That makes perfect sense. Clothing is what protects people from the harsh criticisms of the world.


Oct. 23, 2009 | 9:48 AM Sinitech says:

I thought that was aluminum foil?

Oct. 23, 2009 | 2:52 PM NeverHundred responds:

That doesn't make any sense. How could aluminum fiol protect you from alien thought control beams. If these aliens are advanced enough to travel through time and space than no amount of aluminum can save you. No... the aluminum is for the CIA mind reading scanners only.


Oct. 23, 2009 | 10:15 AM Stickman91 says:

You should do it naked while standing in a soundproof glass enclosure. People will see you naked, and they won't be able to do anything about it. And that would be truly shocking.

Oct. 23, 2009 | 2:53 PM NeverHundred responds:

If they were enraged enough by my antics than they'd break the glass and use the broken shards to stab me... sounds like a fool proof plan to me. Or was that sound proof plan... eh, same thing.


Oct. 23, 2009 | 5:00 PM Jackho says:

I don't like offices.
They tend to have an eerie, lifeless feel to them

Oct. 23, 2009 | 5:24 PM NeverHundred responds:

It's true they do have an eerie lifeless feel to them... as do I.


Oct. 27, 2009 | 6:31 PM Jackho says:

''IF YOU DONT HAVE A COCK YOU CAN USE YOUR ARSEHOLE''
-Andhination

I lose sleep at night because of this sentance.

Nov. 2, 2009 | 2:26 PM NeverHundred responds:

Thanks for sharing. But nothing can shock or frighten me.


Oct. 27, 2009 | 9:12 PM nietzlawe says:

Living in an Office, that sounds like my NeverHundred!

Nov. 2, 2009 | 2:27 PM NeverHundred responds:

It's better than learning about office supplies and accounting off the streets. Wait... I don't know how to count! This is not for me!!! haha... sad, but true... and since it's true it's funny. A dark comedy I suppose.

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