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NeverHundred
You say anarchy, I say government you say temporary, I say permanent You say disillusionment, I say wonder You say talented, I say neverhundred.

Eric Chandel @NeverHundred

Age 36, Male

Information Broker

ME

Joined on 4/26/08

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I haven't decided what to post yet... just give me a second and.. and... aaand... AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

Posted by NeverHundred - June 9th, 2010


Pretty much just heard this band on the radio the other day, and I was digging it. I delt like it had a sound between The Beatles and Nirvana... and like I do with most bands I read up about them on Wikipedia, and I actually found that the guitarist and vocalist for the band is actually Happy Harry's father. I found that very interesting, as I enjoy his work as well.

.
/* */
Name is changed...
I need something new to say. Alright here's an idea, I go back through my post log, find something witty I've already said and post that instead? Do we have a winner?

fifty posts is more than enough. I want to know. What people think of my new song. I want to make it into a mystery of sorts. But with the focus being on irony. a psychological drama in the steep sleep ot the mind, slippery. Have you ever felt like you were having a bad day? And so you took off you pants and sooner than you can say fetralakanixolrooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaee eeeeeehlydralmonpanzorawooquinceptisor uasisicholgodognorwedgiemonicle you realize that it will make everything better.
But enough about you, let's talk about me. I am a lonely robot. Okay that's all I have to say about me what can we say about you? Don't think that judt becuase I'm making a new post I don't want my diary back. Give it, or I will eat your face. It is but a semblance of substance, if not written in an oranized fashion it will crash of course... but it is too late for that. What's next on the agenda? Hay, get back you mother trucker! Don't crowd me, get the fuck off my dick! My name is Error Chandel, but I digress. I think that explains everything I guess. Marginally intriguing. The culture vulture strikes agian, strikes a match, strikes a child, strikes out, strikes a pose, srips for those... least deserving. It makes me sick to think I was having sex with a woman who was fucking an alligator. I gsuppose this leaves me no choise, I must kill the alligator. I'm... alone... they're all gone. All alone... finally, it's queit now.

"finish him!" *POWZERS!* "FATALITY!!!"

What would you do if you had the popes hat? nothing. Fair enough. They're driving me out of my tiny little mind. Scientifically a tomato is a fruit, but legally it is a vegetable. Did you laugh? That would be a bad sign if you did. Just saying. Prepare the fortified sarcastic assault. This one is goign to last for days and days. Wait, how can an assault also be fortified... unless... am not a very good scientist. Regardless we have them under siege and I could wait forever. I'm eating a banana, all the while He would disconnect her eyeballs and they would float around stalk her. Yes, her own eyeballs would stalk herself. In the name of Plok, who will stop me? Sleeping on the floor does have it's drawbacks. If you people want to eat up the planets resources and pack yourselves in little boxes one other little boxes than go right ahead. People never notice me. But if they do, they'll be sure to make fun of my stupid hat and my silly poncho. I wonder what I'll be doing today? Probably working with a shredder, what else can I do. Yes I'd like to re-imagine reality. I am good at everything, but I'm the best at nothing.

That was 'bout as funny as stink on a chicken.

I play guitar. I'm not a physicist... but possibly a viking. Why must seek out a future of loneliness and isolation. I'm driven towards it. Like a moth to the flame... more like the lame. I'm kind of bored.... I HAVE NOTHING TO DO! I AM YELLING!!!! Today I will take over the present... tomorrow I will take... THE FUTURE! Yelling is stupid.

I'm the Darth Vader of the administration.

Tempting madness is not the best way to start the day. So... I'm not really all that creepy. but... I try so hard to be. I live in a sketchy basement. I have a unsettling offworldly stare and say awkward things at awkward times. Turns out that it's not enough. Gonna realize this sooner or later, when I actually start making music for serious I should just go by the name Tzandl. My grandmother on my fathers maiden name, which my last name, Chandel is based off of. I think I'm going insane for reals this time. Maybe this means I'm almost ready to be a rock star. I just took a shower, and it only flooded my room by this much! The wind blew away all my internets. By bike... should take me about fifteen to twenty minutes to get from here to there. "prettah shittah weathah out tharr fohr bikin'." "Yes, it is indeed." And it was. Around that point I was hassled by a pack of street toughs! but after that at the library, at the sign up sheet I saw the name "tom" so I wrote the word "foolery" after it. As the size of an explosion increases the number of social situations it is incapable of solving decreases... ...And I'm being told that that would be wrong. Or maybe I have another solution, steal a kiss than disappear.

My life is a lie... but I'm fine with that.

You may not believe it now, but eventually you'll realize that these are the good old days. I'm constructing a vast network of... emptiness. I've been feeling so strange lately. Feels like I'm wearing a hat... but I'm not. Weird stuff my friends, weird... stuff... yeah... maybe I have a some sort of brain tumor. Yup, probably a brain tumor. It could happen. AAAAAH!!! My faces... THEY'VE BLINDED MY FACES! I love you. I HATE YOU!!! I can't afford a car because every month something on my computer breaks and than I need to replace it. Can you guess if I'm a genius or an idiot? Me and Schopenhauer are cool now. But I'm still mad at Machiavelli. For the record I have no beef real with Kierkegaard, sure we don't always get along... but that's mostly my fault. Step back momofuku, you don't know me like that!!! Okay? Okay... so I was talking to Morpheus and it turns out the red pill is Rohypnal and the blue pill is Viagra. It all makes sense now!!! BY GOLLY HE'S GOT IT!

Thanks, Capitalism!

What did you expect me to make a weird post that made little to no sense just because I could! I can't do that every day people!!! Or could I? So when I'm not on the interent I think of all these interesting things I should look up when I'm actually using a computer... but than when I get the chance I have no idea what I wanted to look into. and than I actually feel even less social than normal. If my computer can't work, neither can I. I get sea sick, I can't swim, I'm afraid of boats... I'm in, when do we set sail? I got to make a Buddha referance today. Yay! The iPad is a weapon of mass distraction. Despite trying to make a defense, I seem to have offended some people. That is okay, for the best defense is a good offense. Stay true to yourself... unless you hate yourself, than go ahead and live a lie.

I am the pyrotechnic intellectual.

Can I be in your movie? it might be easier just to message the right people in the first place. Cut out the middle man, get to the meat of the problem, be a doctor not a bricklayer. I cant make heads or tails out of this place 'cuase the clocks are wrong. I don't know when I am, where I am or why I am. Such is our lot in life I suppose. A man once said this to me, "I was leaving when you were arriving. I saw you walking down the street smiling madly at nothing." That was about the time I had the idea to combine a major chord, miner chord, power chord and suspended chord to create a wreck chord. Any suggestions are welcome. I need a button I can press that will just automatically ignore... everything. I am bored because I know there are other people out there having fun. Have you been paying any attention at all? Better have, because all this, *gestures to chalk board* it will be on the test.

Fame kills.

So what... you say life has become boring! You say there is no more action, no more adventure... nothing left to fight for? Well I'm sorry to say but you chose this path. You know why you're boring. Yeah... that's right. Pacifism will do that to you kid. don't want to see forum postslike " I am reading a book about carnivals!", "I'm enjoying this spring weather!" or "I got a lobotomy today." Actually that last one would be pretty cool. I make a dick joke on some random forum(SocialitesRUs, Free The Whales, Vegan Daze) and people are like, "What!" But if I make a dick joke on the Newgrounds forums I'm a god damned hero! People were complaining that if someone tried to divide by zero, their head would explode. But that's just not true. Their heads were imploding, not exploding... but it was all the same to them. I made a stand. Spoke my mind. Said, "How's this for a replacement swear word, FUCK YOU!" than I ran away like a little bitch. You can't get in trouble if they can't catch you.

I just got hit by a werebear stare.

The thing about insanity is that it's big enough for the both of us. If staring at the sun isn't a good enough idea on it's own. Make sure you do it while driving. I see what your problem is... you see, Cyborgs don't care if they're on fire. I traveled back in time. Found myself reliving my past, but I was unable to change a damn thing. Turns out time is consistent, we're unable to change what has alreadey been done. Never travel back in time, all you'll ever do is feel hopeless and alone. I was injured in a bare knuckle kick boxing fight. Did I scare you all away?
When I ask a question I expect an answer! Unless it's a hypothetical question. But this question was not a hypothetical question. You may have thought I was making a joke, but no... it's a serious question and I want a serious answer! Nevermind your feeble mind wouldn't even be able to begin to conceive an answer for ...my brilliant question!

Smash your computer and go on adventure.

Meanwhile, beyond science in a realm that is not quite yet fantasy. They say, "there are no girls on the internet." but that is just not true. On the other hand, there are no Amish on the internet. It's a fact. look it up on Google. Sleep is for the week. Wait, you're sleeping for a week? Yup. So you've come to ruin my fun I see. Well two can play at that game! I go outside and I see philosophical zombies everywhere. Hordes of them roaming the land destroying everything I know and love. This is the zombie apocolypse we've been talking about for years.

Zombie Apocolypse? I can almost taste victory, and it tastes like BRRAAAHHNZ!!!

This part takes place in a setting far different than anything you've ever known, maybe on earth, maybe in the future... maybe in a cyber dungeon quest. So you thought I had something to say. Thought I had something to stand for... Well, sorry to disappoint. My favorite pass-times include playing guitar, visiting newgrounds and staying out of peoples way. If people don't like what I have to say, than I'm content. If I look back at my life and I've made a thousand enemies but found a handful of truly great friends... than that is the best kind of success.

What if that actually meant something That would be so cool!


Comments

I seem to be the only one immune to nietzlawe's virus.

one of us... one of us!!! none of us... NONE OF US!!!

there can only be one. THERE CAN ONLY BE NONE!

You know what i did i was about to make myself a whole rant of all those songs but then i realized these all might not be all your songs... Screw my life!!!!

You mean the songs I uploaded to the audio portal? Yeah those are all made by me. It's perfectly fine if you don't like them. I don't mind, I can't please everyone all the time.

I never knew your were such a creative writer.

You see each of these little bits were really just one liners spewed out once a day. And they're the best ones I wrote. If I had to sit down for an hour and write an entire thing well, it probably would somehow fall short.

When did you first get into writing?

I don't know... I've written a few stories. They're not up anymore. And I've been writing since before I was on newgrounds.

You've heard it folks. The secrets revealed. ON! Revealing the secrets of Newgrounds.

Tune in next time.
And good night.

That was not the best interview I've seen on Revealing the Secrets of Newgrounds.

All this time and I never realized how many songs you've submitted. Want some lyrics? I got shitloads now.

So still your regular sane self eh? God I'd forgotten all about this place, occupation hazard when you're trying to forget as much as possible... yet ironically remember as much information as possible.

Aww don't cry love, despair brings pain and sorrow onto yourself. Remember we're all connected, when you hurt yourself you hurt others. So go out and be happy, kill every single fucking thing you can find because hey, in the end... who's going to care about a little self mutilation?

No mommy don't hit me! Ah ha ha ha ha! I don't have a mother!

Remember, "When life gives you lemons... BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!"

I missed your bleak insanity old friend. Now let's do this like... roofies. I've tried collaborating with other people in the past, it never really comes together. I'm afraid that if I try to write music for your lyrics the two wont compliment each other s well as they could.

ehhh... to many words. it hurts me.

here is a comment anyway.
*throws confetti* yay! COMMENT!!!

Reading is for the weak... I meant week, I meant if you can't read it all in one setting just read a few words throughout the week. Doesn't matter where, doesn't matter when.

So many words so little attention span...

Read until you bleed.

Smoothie Criminal?

Great, now we'll all have that song stuck in our heads for the rest of the decade. Micheal will be rolling in his grave... or will he be trollin' in his grave?