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NeverHundred
You say anarchy, I say government you say temporary, I say permanent You say disillusionment, I say wonder You say talented, I say neverhundred.

Eric Chandel @NeverHundred

Age 36, Male

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Joined on 4/26/08

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where were we...

Posted by NeverHundred - July 27th, 2010


Oh right... the story continues... Meanwhile a reporter arrives, from nowhere. The reporter and lobs a fireball. Suddenly a timid pirate arrives and attacks this antagonist. Then a cynical psychic starts barking orders. Just then, in walks a limping assassin. At this point the spacey street vendors start shouting, their accents unintelligible. Have you met the surly lawyer?

The scene changes, and a timid ninja arrives and attacks your spouse. and while you're questioning whether or not you have a spouse a different well-meaning ninja begins interrogating a secondary character. His name is Clyde... but which one?

Elsewhere a cynical crone requests a lift from our lovable arsonist/reporter. it is learned that the Pirate and the first ninja are the same person. And all the characters agree... Clearly, it is time for a ticker-tape parade. But it would surely be ruined by an infestation of goats. They all nod solemnly.

Without warning the person you mentioned briefly in chapter 2 arrives, bleeding from multiple stab wounds. The arsonist/reporter is immediately the prime suspect. a terrified jogger arrives and whispers to a secondary character. As usual the secondary character keeps this secret. Just then the detective ninja arrives on the scene, It's only amount of time before he learns the truth.

The scene changes, and a ninja arrives, waving a newspaper. But which one?

At this juncture a farmer arrives. Is he related to the arsonist? he shakes his head. This suggests he is not related to the arsonist/reporter. He than quietly leaves... while raking leaves. The remaining characters look at each other with awe and disgust.

Suddenly our protagonist's sidekick asks for the time. The question goes unanswered. And we're left to wonder... who is the protagonist? And since when does he have a sidekick? The Arsonist/Reporter declines to give an answer. The secondary character likely knows more than what he is sharing knows. The detective ninja knows not what he os searching for. The other ninja has long since been dead. His murderer barely wears a cape and cap.

Clearly, it is time for that ticker-tape parade. The goats wait impatiently. There sadistic eyes reflect the worlds sin and the putrid smell from their mouths escalate with there excitement. It brings a certain unease to the air. We must wait for this conclusion.

The paranoid jogger requests a favor from your protagonist's sidekick. The sidekick disregards his request and asks him for the time. The paranoid jogger, all too weary quickens his pace and disappears into the mist. The Sidekick is left alone. He's running out of time, and he knows it.

Meanwhile the street vendors are in hysterics. I can't understand there screeching, I don't even know what language they're speaking. Make them stop. At this point a cheery shopper's head explodes.

a farmer arrives and offers his/her help. But which one? The Arsonist/Reporter is happy to except the help. He needs someone to drag the bodies after all. Three hours later... Without warning a barbarian arrives, carrying a torch. The Arsonist/Reporters mouth waters. They are destined to have tantric fiery sex. But which one?

Suddenly a timid street vendor starts to hit on your protagonist's sidekick. The sidekick doesn't understand. He does not speak this language. It does not stop him from asking if they know the time. This scene also ends with tantric sex... but not involving who you think it would involve.

We finally meet our protagonist. She is a shy woman has shaggy strawberry-blonde hair, hazel eyes and a barely noticeable birthmark. She wears a green nightgown. Here accent is foriegn and her ways are strange... they are the street vender ways. She is irrelivant to the story. We must concern ourselves with the real heroes.

Only Easter eggs can save this story. But it's well past easter. The paranoid jogger runs past the detective agency Ninja #2, AKA Detective Ninja, wellmeaning ninja... whatever, he has got a new partner, an elderly man of wit and grace. At this point the wisecracking geezer begins interrogating your protagonist's spouse. But which one?

The Sidekick and secondary character meet. The sidekick asks for the time. The secondary character refuses to expose such sensitive information. The argument continues. What is that jogger running from?

And so a disturbed priest arrives and reveals a secret about the person you mentioned briefly in chapter 2. The sidekick is distracted trying to figure out the time, the secondary character takes in the information. Nothing is gained, and the priest will soon be dead.

Suddenly your protagonist's mother arrives, waving a newspaper. She is swatting at flies. Ninja detective is fishing for red hearings. Secondary Characters lips are sealed. Sidekick is standing by the town clock, he's missing his glasses and can't read it. The mysterious jogger is halfway across the country. The protagonist is lost at the parade in a horde of goats and street venders. I do not even know where the Arsonist Reporter is now... anyone I forgot to mention is already dead.

The end.


Comments

Epic.

No... it's Eric.

incredible

Hulk.

Quite the invigorating story.

Vigorizing.

Quite an amazing awesome butter biscuit story you got there! :D

I find you slightly annoying. If I didn't find your art delightfully whimsical, I might have to dislike you.

I prefer sweden moinself.

Yes... I here that the fish there are red, and taste like sugar with a hint of cherry, or is it strawberry?

pirate9899s last ewords about you were *stabs you in the face with a chainsaw*

You know, that's pretty cool. You're a pretty cool guy. You are like... really... flippin' cool. dang it all, you're cool. like, to heck with all those other hosers, you... you're the dawd dangestarian cool.

My art? whimsical? Haha, that's a funny word! By the way I wanted to say your username is really creative and unqiue. I like it.

You're pushing your luck pal.

What another "destined to be classic" wonderfully wonderful story of wonder and insanity. Just what I expected.

HEY! You, I thought you weren't around these parts any more. Great timing buddy.

I didn't read your story but it looks like it was pretty good! sometime I'll have to come back and read it cuz I see something about goats!!

I <3 goats.

I actually play a goat in a chat room lol

Yes the goats have a pivotal role in this story, much like all my stories. They represent the wilder side of humanity. When we let our vices get the better of us, driving us to do mad things.

i read a paragraph of your story. wow.
my head hurts and i am angry now.
it was amazing.

best line from the begining to the part i read was
"...while raking leaves. The remaining characters look at each other with awe and disgust."

Awe and disgust are two human reactions that can't be hidden. When a person is sincerely awestruck or disgusted you know. They can't disguise that look on their face.