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Entry #140

Fade

2013-02-21 20:49:39 by NeverHundred
Updated

It seemed so vibrant and powerful. But what is it now?

I'm not even sure if it's drifting away or if it's my over active and destructive imagination that's prepared to create a self fulfilling prophecy. Does she feel the same way? Does she love me but she's just afraid I don't feel the same, doesn't believe me when I tell her so. I'm not sure... I shouldn't speculate, that's the danger. I know better than to worry, because it'll poison the well.

Right now she has a guy who's prime directive is to make her happy, but she's not. If I can't make her happy than I don't see why I should even bother. Nothing I do seems to be able to help her. Either it doesn't seem to have a positive impact or she claims she doesn't need it.

I still love her though. I really want the best for her, but that doesn't mean anything. If she doesn't love me anymore my love's meaningless. Just because I love her doesn't mean that I'm the man for her. I thought maybe I was different.

And it's officially over.


Comments

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nietzlawenietzlawe

2013-03-01 23:28:12

Fading relation, ship, ahoy. It just toys with the emotions, enjoy it while it lasts, even when it doesn't, just let it pass you by, emotions run high, sparks fly, I guess that is why they call it a current relationship.

People are fickle, and picky, relationships get a little sticky, from time to time. But women are dime a dozen, there are a billion bosoms out there to choose from, the buxom blonde? or the brunette one? There's plenty more fish in the pond.

We can't just wave a magic wand and make it picture perfect, we have to experience what it feels like to be rejected, dejected and disconsolate.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2013-02-27 21:13:44

More blood than common sense running through my system. But at least it's a system that works. Temporarily, until we can find a more permanent solution. But permanent solutions are hard to come by, yah. How the hell did I end up with type O blood?

Don't answer that. Just ponder the question for a while like a failed and tormented detective would, then drink six bottles of Hennessy and start mumbling 'where did it all go wrong?'

I'll tell you where it went wrong!! That night in 'Nam. Thai Po Blood, now it is all starting to make sense... in an illogical sort of way.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2013-02-26 21:08:39

My dreams are so mixed up, they are like typos.

NeverHundred responds:

Type O blood.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2013-02-26 14:03:31

I miss muzzling wuzzles, slapping him about the head with a sledgehammer, guzzling the flood of blood that erupts from his head wounds and ruptures.

But it was all a dream. The empty bottle of whisky by my side, wasn't.

NeverHundred responds:

Maybe you got your dreams mixed up.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2013-02-24 18:27:48

Now is the time to stand up and be a man. Yes, you are having your heart ripped out and crushed, but look on the bright side. You are young and healthy and have the rest of your days to live and explore and to meet lots of interesting strangers.

Life is what you make it, it took me a long time to realise that. And even when I'd realised it, I hadn't realised I had realised it.

Then I realised, Jack hasn't been on NG since 'Ye Time Forgot.'

NeverHundred responds:

I miss wuzzles.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2013-02-23 17:24:50

You have to learn to accept what is gone and what isn't
But please stop and listen when we get reminiscent
We tend to emphasise heavy on the things that we're missing
Make all those wishes but think they will listen
But time has a way of fading - till a face is no more than a haze
And someone so close to you is no more than a phrase
Then before you know it your whole history has passed
So fast just when you thought it would last forever
You and everything around it becomes the past
To be cast aside for the next generation to lay their mast

-Nietzlawe-


nietzlawenietzlawe

2013-02-23 17:24:12

You have to learn to accept what is gone and what
But please stop and listen when we get reminiscent
We tend to emphasise heavy on the things that we're missing
Make all those wishes but think they will listen
But time has a way of fading - till a face is no more than a haze
And someone so close to you is no more than a phrase
Then before you know it your whole history has passed
So fast just when you thought it would last forever
You and everything around it becomes the past
To be cast aside for the next generation to lay their mast

-Nietzlawe-


BossBoss

2013-02-22 00:05:47

you did the best you could

NeverHundred responds:

That's really not as reassuring as you thi... oh, okay. You're right.