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Entry #171

Pepperbird story.

2015-10-12 02:58:50 by NeverHundred

Most evolution is just happy coincidence. Imagine if like bird's ancestors and pepper's ancestors were like, this... So the bird is like, "I'm a bird and I fly all over the place." And the pepper is like, "Well, I'm a plant, so... I dunno, I just sit here and look cool." "That's neat." Says the bird. "Look at those silly little mammal dudes scurrying all over the place. You know they're always trying to eat my eggs and that makes me upset." And the pepper is like, "Yeah, they're fucking with my shit. They'll eat anything. And when they eat one of me, it's like they just fuck up the seeds and I can't reproduce." And they sit and they ponder for a while and the bird suddenly has an idea. "Hey, you want to really fuck with those rodents and beavers or whatever? Why don't you start evovling to be really fucking hot when they try to eat you?" "What, like hot like the sun?" The pepper scoffs. "Nah, nah bro. Like not exactly. I don't know like only hot if they try to eat you. Evolution is cool, I used to be dinosuars, but now I'm birds. Yeah, I'm not as bad ass looking, well I'm still pretty badass looking only now I can fly. Which is cool." The bird flies around showing off it's plumage and made flight skills. "Okay, I admit the flight thing has turned out well for you. And I think this is good advice. Listen though, cause you gave me this idea how about you can eat all the peppers as long as you promise that the seeds will grow after you shit them out." The bird nods, "That's a pretty sweet deal. I think this works for both of us." And then they give each other a high five and they become bffs forever and ever. For a hundred years. Pepper and Bird, it's all the time.


Comments

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LexaHergonLexaHergon

2015-10-12 04:53:11

Nice story man. (º- º ) b
I wonder how a remora could convince a shark not to eat it ?

NeverHundred responds:

Very carefully.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-10-15 14:19:25

Pepper and Bird, go together like Edmund and Burke.

NeverHundred responds:

birds of a feather they stick together.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-10-23 22:43:00

Like whips and leather.

NeverHundred responds:

Kink birds.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2015-11-14 19:24:45

Kinkfishers.


nietzlawenietzlawe

2016-01-05 02:05:12

And so...

Two long months went by without a reply from that guy, from Maine. He ain't home when we're knocking. He's not even in the country. He has ran... for President! He has somehow travelled to the most distant wilderness and got lost... on DVD! He quite simply vanished off the Earth. Nobody knows what happened to Eric except a wisened old man called Lovecraft. But Lovecraft wasn't talking, so we were gonna have to make him talk! By... giving him cook... ies?! Doesn't sound like much of a punishment. Doesn't even sound like malnourishment. Rewarded for his insolence. Sometimes I despair at how this world works. Despair at this bear with brown fur ready to tear me apart. Tear at my heartstrings as I have to file this Missing Persons Report for Eric Chandel.

And now, 'have you seen this man?' is written on the side of every milk carton. People were out in their droves searching for the guy, torches, sniffer dogs, choppers. Little did they know that Eric had swam away to a Desert Island and was now living on a diet that comprised of lamprey eels, squid and Morlock hair. This kept him going for months and months, as did writing some new Don't Judge A Song By It's Cover episodes. The only problem is that he couldn't upload them to the portal.

Times were hard on Mollusc Island. Literally.


lilacsanitylilacsanity

2016-10-29 19:46:09

Is Fascism left-wing or right-wing?


nietzlawenietzlawe

2017-06-07 01:53:47

RIP to the NeverHundred account. We gather at this funeral today... to...... party like it's 1965!!!!!!


S3CS3C

2017-06-07 02:29:28

@lilacsanity

it's not tied to either. it can and has manifested in both sides of the spectrum. some examples commonly associated with groups from either side: banning religion, interracial relationships, gay marriage etc. from the right and all this PC bullying, forced censorship, and cultural appropriation from the left nowadays