tl;dr post a comment with one of these names. Eldagon, Ironby, Banillavasser, Elcrest, Enend, Agresis, Perrysfort, Dearne.

Hello citizens, I'm back in the nation building mood. First thing on the agenda is choosing my nations capital... but we'll get back to that later. (I'm a politician.)

Let's look at the headlines today, much like how they do it on the Jay Leno show... only funny.

A recent study conducted by Bremer, Irving and Floyd revealed startling, but not unexpected, but still never-the-less surprising, but not altogether unaccounted for findings.Traffic accidents are on the rise.This increase over the past eighteen months is due primarily too an influx of priests who possess little or no driving skills as well as road raged drivers who are known to weld gun turrets to the top of their vehicles.
But in one traffic accident related note Neverhundred is ranked 14039th in defenestration, just below Dullsville. This makes us the safest nation in the region for defenestration. "Oh heckare we ever pleased at this sweet news," exclaimed police chief Jennifer Plox, "And don't think we're going to stop here. NeverHundred has it's eye on hawking as well."
When asked, a gambler sighed "Yeah sure, but do they really know what they're doing?"
"It's the parrots I'm worried about. They're the ones who will be really broken by this." Voiced one priest.

Guthrie C. and Gratwick Fabrication just demoted 28329 employees to the rank of occupationally challenged. There's no pay at that level.
Layoffs seem to be in style as countless employers cut back. Although housing has shown cute movement, it has not been drastic enough to help unemployment.
Biochemists and stunt doubles alike are feeling the pains of having no income. "We had to hang out at the drive-in movies just to get a bit to eat," one coworker exclaimed. "All I request is a job."
A dinner pantry program was instituted by local businesses to keep the locals of Neverhundred from going hungry. "I just can't say how sweet I feel about how the residents of Neverhundred stick together," someone said somewhere.

Neverhundred's fire department is pushed to it's limits and Neverhundred citizens are putting on the heat. I'm really burnt up about this," stated Mrs. Carrow, obviously bothered over having lost her home in a fire last summer when the fire department's answering machine was broken.
"Neverhundred has desired more fire-stations for a while now. How many more citizens have to lose their homes before the government does something about it?"
The president had very little to say about the issue. Although after the great fire of Bonillavasser. his only statement on that situation was, "Uh, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so careless."
Chances are 1500 out of 100 that this will effect President Tzandl's campaign strategy, or not at all.

Protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power power stations. They too to the streets in in the mountian cities of, Swarton, Boxten, and Elcrest. "This is bloody outrageous!" screamed Andrew Wistnell, head of the nation's most important protesters group, The Barbirabards. He continued while jumping up and down in front of the camera. "These damn gamma-pushers will plunge us into a nuclear armageddon. Neverhundred is just one lazy slip up away from being plunged into chaos. We're going to have to learn sooner or later.When was the last time you released a dove on a monthly basis? Huh? HUH? That's what I thought! It's time to move past these primitive beliefs!"
Not long after his streetside interview turned speech, turned chant, turned battle call Boxten was burned to the ground by the protesters. Followed by Sorth Harrisvale and most of The Wilderlands region from the top of mount Haversak across The Wilderlands creating destruction, panic and anarchy to such towns as Elcrest, Enend, Agresis and Boxten
Enend In the coastal cities that primarily rely on the Bonillavassor Reactor have been serious considering switching to other sources of power, research on using potatoes as batteries and running hampsters on wheels has only resulted in tragedy.

And here's a guy who thinks he's a scientist with the weather.
High humidity and low temperatures will mean chilly air all day. Do as your mom says and take a jacket. If the wind picks up the wind chill factor will be below zero. Ng institute says that inverse conditions will change the weather pattern within the next few months. Oscillating patterns always occur over a year period.
"I have nothing but insanity for those delicious negotiators effected by this." Sighed an observer.

Let's move on to business now. Neverhundred needs a Capital but I'm too lazy to decide on my own. So here are some city names I made up while I jacked some other guy off. I've gone over my options talked to an adviser or two. As is the unofficial seat of governance would probably be the first known Neverhundred city, Eldagon. The problem is Eldagon is small and isolated. It's a coastal city that is practically built on cliffs edges, with one road that enters it. What's wrong with our old building!" asks noted disestablishmentarian, Horace McAlpen.Before I could explain the problem to my anti-authoritarian friend he continued to raise his voice and ignore me. "We don't need some kind of fancy capital city just to make the fat-cat politicians feel important! If there's no room, then fire politicians until there IS room. Have you never heard of doing more with less?"

He makes a good point. I'm not one for big government, or big corporation... or anything like that. But I feel intitled to explore other options and Eldagon is a weak port, with a poor infastructure. Other coastal cities like Ironby, Dearne and the renown Bonillavasser have stronger economies and are much more recognizable. Ironby is nearly as old as Eldagon, and also nearly as isolated. It is located on the island of Westerley, has it's changed from nuclear to solar power, and has proven to be a resourceful and prosperous city. Than their is Dearne at the mouth of the Saliwak River, it's a humble little city. Not always the first to come to mind but that doesn't rule it out as a contender. Than their is the sprawling metropolis known as Bonillavasser. "I would like to make a humble recommendation for my own proud jurisdiction," says Sue-Ann McGuffin, mayor of Bonnillavasser. "It would be an honor for our city to be host to the seat of power! If it will seal the deal, you can change the name if you like..." I don't think I'd ever want to change this cities name, but is it the right choice for Neverhundred.

Further inland there are many towns that could also do a fine job representing Neverhundred. Elcrest is a powerhouse, literally and figuratively. It is known for being the home of Neverhundreds largest dam. It is certered at the roots of Haversak Mountain, Neverhundred's largest mount and is also the place where Major General and leading military strategist General Shiomi wants me to start digging. "We'd be putting all our eggs in one basket if we choose somewhere too vulnerable! Believe me, capitals always get the brunt of the enemy attack because of their political and economic importance. We should put aside a few billion Skruebles and build our capital city underground. They'll never bomb us there!" Since Elcrest and the surrounding towns of Centerway, Harrisvale and Sorth Harrisvale are the foundations of Neverhundred's Mining and Ore facilities it's a the natural choice for the top secret location. Just don't tell anybody... damn it, now that will never work. Or will it?
His second choice would be the frontier city of Perrysfort. Far from any of our enemies and at the same time heavily fortified and strategically placed. I put a lot of weight into his ideas. Neverhundred isn't considered the strongest military power in the region just because we're practically the only nation in the region. No, we've proved time and time again that we're not a people you'd want to meet on the battlefield and I have Shiomi to thank for that. One the other hand this is a free nation and the capital should be open to the people. Also having the capital hidden away might be bad for commerce and tourism. I mean you can't go too far with the razzle-dazzle... right?

"I've got an idea," says theme park tycoon, Larry Tew. "My company will happily sponsor the new establishment and cover all costs - as long as it's made to our specifications. We've already got plans drawn up to put a roller coaster straight through the House of Commons! Maybe even a water slide or two in the lobby! It'll be one part legislative seat of government, one part family-fun theme park! Tourists will flock from around the globe!"
Okay that seems like too much razzle dazzle. And where would this capital be located. "The answer is obvious. The Wilderlands has tons of free space for such a massive undertaking. I'm thinking on the outskirts of either Enend, Agresis or between the two. Maybe by lake Eitherbrine in Agresis, or on the otherside of it. Oh I have so many great plans, it will be so much fun! Just you wait and see!!!"
...I'm trying to see how this could be a good idea but, it's not easy. Agresis is a good spot for locational reasons, it's in the middle of the country. It's easily accessible and is pretty economically strong. Enend is more of a frontier town, it's the newest city. Well planned contruction but I don't see what else it has to offer. And I hate roller-coasters.

I guess that covers all the big cities. Oh great. What are you doing here? I thought you died in the riots... "Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated." Andrew Wistnell states as he lurches forth from the shadows. "Hah! Capital city indeed!" Andrew shouted, spilling leaflets all over the floor. "What's wrong with being free as the wind? Do you really think one city could possibly represent a whole country? Its people? I've had enough of the man trying to screw us down all the time! Say NO to a national capital! ...but if you were going to choose one maybe my home town of Swarton."
Well Swarten has a good location, up river of the old capital of Eldagon, adjacent to Dearne and Elcrest. It's not far from Agresis and it's only a town over from Bonillavasser. It's a little small bearly a city, more of a large town. I guess we could pump it up with bureaucrats, politicians and well known business leaders and it could float as a capital.
"What? Leadership? Authority? Centralized power? My only weaknesses." Stuttered Wistnell. "You win this round... but you haven't heard the last of me! Yes, me and the Barbirabards will be back." He cackles as he fades away into the shadows.
Yeah, I'm really not considering Swarton. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

So if anyone wants to give a suggestion I'm not opposed to listening to them. We've seen the rest now show me the best.