So I may have a week or so before I'm truly homeless. Why? Becuase August Ninth is my birthday! I argued the point that throwing a guy out on his ass ,on his god damned birthday. Well, that's just unacceptable. And my hippie landlords like, "Okay, sure." I bet if I hadn't contacted the guy he wouldn't have even realized I was out of cash and jobless and all that shit. He just would have been out where ever he smokes his ganja talking about how the poor get poorer and the rich richer, and how the poor man is always getting screwed... while he reaps a fortune off of how many tenants are under his foot. Hippies are such hypocrites... hippiecrites.

I also talked with my dad. Said I needed to give up on being an artist and get a real job. I told him I'd get into the adult entertainment industry. I want to work at a sex shop or something, I'm nearly twenty-three and I'm still rebelling against my parents. I'm not going to deny it, I'm immature as fuck but at least I don't give a shit.

Anyone who has known me in real life knows that me and my father have some very strong philosophical differences. We may share a little bit of common ground, as nearly everyone does. But, I'm a social oriented libertarian. I tend to side with democrats on a lot of issues... except for guns, and capital punishment, and.. the existence of government. He's a registered republican. Thought George Bush was a good president. ...yeah, need I say more? He is all Christian now, he used to drink, and work. And I never saw him when I was a little one. Abandonment issues? Maybe a little. But I think the big reason why I have problem is when my mom and dad split up... well, when my mom left him. He and her had a lot of nasty arguments before that. He was definitely emotionally abusive to her, though I can't say I ever recallhim hitting her or anything like that. About a week or so after she left at our newplace of residance he left a splendid little call on the new answering machine. You know the typical formalities, small talk and death threats you'd expect.

And now he's cleaned up, found God and everything is okay. Yet he'll still talk shit about her, and on the rare occasions when they do talk he will talk shit to her. Everything in the world is her fault. I mean you'd think a born again Christian would be all about forgiveness, you know... because that was like, Jesus's big lesson or something. Other than that, my dad is generally a pretentious, arrogant asshole. And because of that we can not get along, because I am also a pretentious arrogant asshole... but in all the ways he is not. He judges, I mock. He's believes in everything, I believe in nothing. He values morals, I value freedoms. I have no common ground with this person. If you were to ask us both to define what life is, beyond the condition of life. What is the meaning of life? Our answers would be completely different.

the great thing about not having a computer is the ability to break away from the reverse big brother effect. Sure taking in information isn't a bad thing but when you're glued to it, than you're trapped. And you have to be careful. Most of what the media and entertainment industry feeds you is junk food. I love and hate art, music, the classics... what made them great. Can I create something as great? Probably not... I want to be in a punk band, because I think it fits my philosophy, but it just doesn't fit my energy or my disposition. I may be a nihilist, and perhaps I'm a bit of an anarchist. But I lack the energy and I'm not the one to get up there and scream profanities... not for sincere purposes at least.

People say they want honesty, they want sincerity... haha, No... they obviously don't want that. I don't even feel the need to explain. Look at our religion, our government and our culture. None of that says truth to me.

also I accidentally deleted a comment. Oh well.