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NeverHundred
You say anarchy, I say government you say temporary, I say permanent You say disillusionment, I say wonder You say talented, I say neverhundred.

Eric Chandel @NeverHundred

Age 37, Male

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Joined on 4/26/08

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Birfday.

Posted by NeverHundred - August 9th, 2010


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I'm getting old, I probably have forty years left before I die... hell, given my life style I'll probably be dead much sooner than that. I might make one more blog post before I head out, or move on... or return this stolen laptop to it's rightful owner. Haha, I mean I don't even own a computer anymore.

It's been all day... and no one out in the IRL even said Happy Birthday to me. Typicall. It's always like this. Even when I was a kid no one ever came to my birthday parties. Eric looks at the giant cake on the table. I don't even know why I bothered to bake such a large cake for the occasion. I'm always left to eat the entire thing myself. Eric begins to sing in his lonely but angelic voice. ~Happy birthday to~ sniff sob ~me~~ Happy birthday to me~~ *looks around at the empty kitchen hoping that maybe a few friends would come out of no where, maybe shout surprise... nothing happens* Happy birthday to Errr-ic. Happy birthday... to me...

He blows out the single candle he put on the cake. Wishes never come true do they. He garbs a chunk of the cake with his bare hands, stuff it in his greasy mouth while screeching, "I'm so fuckin' lonely!" he sobs and eats the rest of the cake, the whole thing... all while crying and muttering, "So lonely..."

I'll admit it. Every day I vote Denis Kucinich on the top five.

Birfday.


Comments

shit son , you're homeless now right? well,
good luck and every once in awhile
keep us updated from some shitty library

lol k.

Yay! Happy birthday Eric.
May you steal many more laptops and sleep in many unsuspecting citizens' bath tubs!

Yeah, it happens.

how much moneys ya want

All of it. I'll join your pirate crew and help you obtain such riches!!! AHOY!!!

Happy Birthday, homeboy.

Even if it isn't all that happy.

Inorite.

Just kidding, I fucking hate you and everything you stand for also I bought you this fetus pizza.

I should have expected as much. This pizza tastes like illegal abortions... IT'S DELICIOUS!!!

OH SHIT YOUR BIRTHDAY IS ON 8/9/10

I never thought about it like that, but yeah... it is.

OH MY GOD D:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEVERHUNDRED!

<a href="http://vocaroo.com/?media=vffgPgLmD1buF93FE">http://vocaroo.com/?media=vffgPgLmD1b uF93FE</a>
Me preforming "happy birthday" to Eric. I hope you have a good birthday :3

Thanks, I lolled.

Also you can sing pretty well, doesn't change the fact that you are a total dork. But I appreciate it, it made a dismal birthday slightly better than it would have been otherwise.

THAT IS THE LAST TIME SOMEONE SAYS I AM A PIRATE I AM NOT A PIRTATE I USED MY DOGS NAME AND NOW LOOK I AM A PRINCE I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU 7000$ BUT YOU BLEW IT

Well, if you're not a pirate I don't want your god damn money! Pirates are cool, and if you're not a pirate than you are not cool. And are hereby banned from my page, for lack of piracy.

When it's my birthday what I usually do is tell none of my friends it is and see who remembers. Last time one of them remembered 2 days late and told the others.

I said happy birthday to my friend Garrett, who was born four days before me the day before my birthday, and he said happy birthday to me around that time. He was the only person who wished me ahappy birthday without being told that it was my birthday.

Fuck libraries! Go to a computer cafe or something. Those places have people of our kind. Or hipsters.

God fuck I hate hipsters.

Yes, but I have to pat to play at such places. I don't have my own laptop anymore. I can't run around town looking for free wifi connections.

"'IM SO FUCKIN LONLEY"

LOL great line to cake shove to

Into what?

Live fast, die last.

Wait. No.

DO IT!!!