I made a new friend at school. He's a homosexual, he has a boyfriend, and he doesn't hide his flamboyant side all that much. Great guy though, he's funny and a nice person. Probably one of the few people I've met so that I believe could be a friend in the long term. Especially since ever since I started talking to him everyone else has started to talk to me a little less each day. With the exception of another guy who I believe really wants to be my friend but I know is uncomfortable around my gay friend.

I was in the audio program, majoring in communications technology. My gay friend, let's call him Raphael is in the class, so is the other guy I think's pretty cool, let's call him Todd. Then there's a bunch of other lowers, I don't really give too many fucks about. I might talk with a few but most of them seem kind of dull in a sense of not really seeking to make a deep lasting relationship where I can say... "Hey, this girl fucked with my head and I plan on getting shitfaced, you're coming with me and you're going to listen to all my shit problems. You're a real friend and I'd do the same for you."

You want to have a few of these people in your life and they should probably be single. Which to be far Raphael isn't but also, I like having someone else's back. And the thing about Raphael is that in the audio program, he hasn't got any real friends. I'm his friend, I'd like to think that I am. I'm not in that major anymore.

And my friends if they see me hanging out with him, the ones that are in his major they ask me, "Is he gay?" And I'm like, "Fuck you, it's not important. It's none of our business" I know he is though, he has a boyfriend. No big deal. I feel like they aren't being fair to him. Being that I'm no stranger to isolation, I sympathize with this kid. I hope that these other people give him a chance and get to know him.

And he doesn't really need them, because he has friends. Thing is often times Todd also seems to need people. Both of them have their own friends but at the same time they both seem insecure. I think they should be friends. It not like being friends with a guy who likes other men makes you gay. It's not like you have to date the guy, hell he's already got a boyfriend.

And Todd says, "It's okay, I don't care that he's gay." And that might be true. Maybe they're not the type of people who'd get along, just on the merits of interest and a conflict in their senses of humor or ways of expression. I don't know, but it sucks when I'm sitting in the campus center I see both of them sitting alone, looking all lost and lonely and I have to pick who I need to talk to today and no matter who I pick I feel guilty... and I can tell that the other one noticed.

It's dumb. And don't even get me started on the lady troubles I've been having. You know the problems I have with relationships with women!