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Entry #132

the high school reunion

2012-12-26 14:40:25 by NeverHundred

...I become such an asshole when it comes to celebrations.

Stories from my high school reunion?

First off, I hardly recognized anyone, and even remembered less people than I recognized. And yet everyone remembered me. We have a six year reunion for some reason. Mt. Ararat is the hich school I went to. The school without walls. I'm now going to school at NESCom. On the Husson campus we have The Dickerman Dining Hall. We call it The Dick, and if you're going to eat at the dick you say, "I'm going to go eat dick." My schools are known for their maturity of course. I'm twenty five years old and I've accomplished all the shits in life... I haven't failed to take a shit yet at least. I'm very good at that sort of shit.

One guy walked up to me, "Oh, hey Eric. What are you doing these days?"
"I've just started my freshman year at college." Yeah, six years too late right?
But he tries to keep it friendly, "Oh, yeah... man I wish I took a break before I went to college." Naturally the person I vaguely remember from high school but could not give him a name for the life of me asks, "What where you doing the years up to going to college."
I instantly respond with, "Crippling depression." He stopped talking to me after that point.

I'm hanging out with the people who's faces I recognize and names I remember. I know I could talk to other people, but then I'd need to look down at their name tags and that's such a drag. Another person who's name and face I remember approaches. He graduated from Husson, I already knew this before I came to the reunion. My room mate told me that one time he tried to fap when he thought his room mate had been asleep. Obviously the room mate wasn't sleeping that soundly because I got to hear about it.
He sys hello to one of my friends, they were pals back in high school. He turns to me and says, "Hey, I heard you're going to NESCom, did you know I went to Husson?"
I respond, "Yes, I heard some interesting stories about you."
His eyes glint momentarily with terror, he laughs nervously, "Oh! Oh really, what... what did you hear about me."
I give him a blank look.
He says, "It's okay, it's fine, I have no shame!"
I still say nothing.

I am at home with the awkwardness. I felt comfortable around all these people, with there nervousness, their disappointment and disillusionment. I've been preparing for this day my entire life.


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2012-12-27 00:45:10

litterallly made me laught really hard!


2012-12-27 03:30:24

I laughed at crippling depression.

... Which is inappropriately appropriate I think.


2012-12-27 19:08:47

*New Comment Alert!

Yes, I always imagine what my high school reunion would look like, and it always gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, which probably gives away the fact that I hated school with a passion. But how can you hate something passionately?

Stupid hyperbole. But it made sense I suppose. I suppose I did skip a merry beat into school, swinging around lamp posts, declaring my pure hatred for school.

An high school reunion would not go well for me today. I would meet all those who laughed at me and tormented me. But maybe I could get my revenge, I could elaborate a story where I became a big success, married a beautiful wife, fulfilled all my dreams and fantasies and lived a rather blissful life.

But I'd be lying to myself. And lying by myself.

Those flaws would surely come to the forefront in a high school reunion. I just don't do reunions, it's just not me. I'm not reunion material. I'd prefer us all to meet in an abandoned warehouse in post-apocalyptic conditions. Then we'd see who the real leaders would be wouldn't we? Let's see if they are laughing at me then eh, when I'm catching wild boar and feeding them fuckers, keeping them all alive.

Yes, I've learned since leaving high school, how to be self-sufficient and hard-faced, they on the other hand have been mollycoddled and wrapped up in cotton wool. They haven't suffered from crippling depression like we have Eric. Crippling depression is something to be proud of, if you have overcome it.

But if you haven't overcome it, may it cripple you some more, so that when you do overcome it, you can attend these high school reunions well-equipped.

And when I say well-equipped, I don't mean armed with arms. As that would be stupid. The best way to overcome your frustrations is to overcome yourself, do it the hard way, through sweat and tears. Don't hurt others, except fictionally.

NeverHundred responds:

Well, I enjoyed it anyway. Even though high school can not be considered my greatest years... and maybe that's something to be proud of. I really hope my greatest years aren't behind me. If they were that would make anyone depressed.


2012-12-28 03:09:42

Your greatest years are not behind you, they are in front of you, in fact you are stalking them. It is hard to say whether you have already reached your peak, some people achieve everything when they are young, others are late bloomers.

It depends on what you would define as being 'great' like what would you consider fulfilling, what would make you die a happy man? Are you the travelling type? Or would you define happiness as something simple like settling down and having a nice girlfriend?

I will say this with a strong sense of certainty. You make your own luck using persistence and dedication. Then you can be whoever you want to be.

NeverHundred responds:

I want to be... a platypus.


2012-12-28 11:30:02

A flat-faced platypussy cat called Plato. But you can only play to midnight at being Plato, after that you have to become Aristotle, and in order to become Aristotle, you have to think like Aristotle.

Which is very fucking difficult if you're not originally a philosopher.

My attempt to be Aristotle would be what I would call a Aristotal waste of time.

NeverHundred responds:

Exactly what I was thinking before I lost my kidney.


2013-01-03 03:17:57

You lost a kidney? You gotta be kidneying me!

(Updated ) NeverHundred responds:

I know. I don't know how I'll liver with out it! Seriously, I think I might die. But also I'm just joking about dying... but let's meta about that joke, okay?


2013-01-03 17:17:49

I once met a man that said the word meta,
He wanted to meet this girl he liked to make his life better,
He bought her flowers and chocolates, even that nice sweater,
But for some strange reason it only seemed to upset her,



2013-01-03 17:27:56

You said you have been preparing for this day your entire life. You mean to had to undergo a rigorous exercise program for years on end just to attend that school reunion?

Jogging on the spot, or more accurately doing a breakdance on somebody's acne.

I was quite lucky, I was never one of those that suffered from acne. I just suffered from absolutely everything else. But that's what you have to do in life, take everything that's thrown at you. Football cards, marbles, snowballs with a poo inner core.

Kids can be so cruel... But this was the teachers.


2013-01-03 17:29:59

I hate teachers.

I prefer t-shirts, that say I hate teachers. But t-shirts can't speak.


2013-01-04 01:34:44

You're such a people person.

NeverHundred responds:

I know... what the hell happened. And you know all the women are up on this dick! O_O I'm actually kind of terrified that women seem to find me attractive now that I have a new hair cut.