Contact Info / Websites

Entry #138

Web Reporting

2013-01-26 10:32:30 by NeverHundred

I had to make two blog posts a week. I had to write several articles for a webzine. I decided to drop the course. I also have a copywriter course, basically we write advertising scripts.

On top of that I have to write a psychology paper, APA format. I'm not sure if there will be much writing for History of Mass Communications and American Government. Which are both primarily history classes.

I'm taking Computer Applications again. I have to pass it. It's a required course no matter what my major is.


You must be logged in to comment on this post.


2013-01-26 15:31:19

fuk colleg e!!!!@

NeverHundred responds:

i kno rite?


2013-01-26 21:39:17

What about studying Computer Applickasian pussy course? That'd be more fun.

NeverHundred responds:

I think you got a little side tracked there bro-dude.


2013-01-28 10:15:42

Side-tracked, distracted, whatever you wanna c.....

Mmm triple chocolate chip muffins!

NeverHundred responds:

Those muffins WILL BE MINE!!!


2013-01-28 20:26:29

I am already making my getaway with the goods as you speak.

And there's Muffin' you can do to stop me.. HA! HA! HA!

NeverHundred responds:

Oh... okay. I'll just make my own damn muffins, and give them to the girl in my dreams.


2013-01-30 04:43:59

I am the muffin man,
And nothing can foil my fucking cunning plan,
To steal every muffin, when no motherfucker is looking,
Even while this woman is putting the finishing touches to her muffins,
I'll grab them quick, and then I'm off and running,
Like a sprinter, making his getawat through this bleak midwinter,
Hindered by a bag of muffins weighing me down,
But these chocolate chip are so deliciously brown,
I can't leave them now, the pain is not worse than it seems,
It'd be worse if Eric gave them to the girl in his dreams,
Because I'm the muffin man, and need every muffin in existence,
And it's nobody else's business owning muffins,
Unless we go into partnership, and sell those cakes from my parked up ship,
And make so much that we're so rich,
We get so rich that we can afford to expand the muffin empire,
And take over the entire,

Now are you with me?

NeverHundred responds:

Obviously. Let's do this shit!


2013-01-31 23:51:36

Let's sell muffins. But first we drink...

At the Muff Inn.

NeverHundred responds:

I wanted to got to the Tavern.


2013-02-01 18:22:02

You have to earn the right to visit the Tavern. The Tavearn.

No you don't. Here's a ticket, you're invited. But wear alternative clothing.

NeverHundred responds:

Alt-earn-ative. I SAW THAT! you can't hide your puns from THESE eyes! aye?


2013-02-01 22:32:22

Now you're finding easter eggs that I didn't even plant. Now you're getting paranoid! Are you paranoid?!?! It does us all some good to be paranoid?!?! I'm not fucking paranoid!! Get away from me! No, come back, quick! Inside! Barricade the door!!

*Wakes up*

Phew, it was all a dream.

But the people were real! The cases were real! This is Judge Judy.

I'm getting sick of Judy bulldozing her way into my comments. Although she did manage to win me back 50 dollars in a petty small-court case.

50 dollars which were used to buy a round of beers at the Tavearn. Where we were telling horror stories, that's probably how we got on to the subject of eyes, paranoia and trying to barricade ourselves in a deserted wooden house in order to avoid being eaten by killer zombies into their zumba fitness regimes.

In reality, we were just drunk, hallucinating, reminiscing about what could have been. The girls that we tried to chat up had long gone, and as well as stealing our dignity, they stole our wallets too.

But that's what happens at The Tavearn. We get Tavburned by taciturn women.

NeverHundred responds:

It's been a good couple of days.


2013-02-04 11:19:37

Good couple of days dazed and confused.

NeverHundred responds:

Yeah, it is confusing. How could anyone ever find me attractive? I have no idea. She's so smart, beautiful, she's accomplished so much and she's going to be successful at whatever she puts her mind to.

And than there's me, only just now going to school and barely keeping my head above water. I can't picture that my future will be anything other than bleak and miserable. But she looks at me like I'm... not completely worthless. As if I'm actually something wonderful.


2013-02-04 22:47:11

You have value, and now that you have seen that 'she' sees that, you must believe it and try to develop your self-belief and independence.

Then she will be putty in your hands. She'll be your playdoh.

(Updated ) NeverHundred responds:

I don't want playdoh, I want someone who is happy that they're with me. That's the best thing about our relationship. It's that what's really important. No matter how much you might love someone, it means nothing if they don't love you back.


2013-02-05 11:02:06

Mutual lurvvve. A soul-mate for life. I'm hearing ya, loud and clear.

My God, this dictaphone I've set up inside your wardrobe picks up everything!

NeverHundred responds:

It's not my wardrobe... it's the schools wardrobe. They're gonna get so mad. They'll probably fine me... if they can find me.


2013-02-06 22:50:30

That's right, run off! Don't worry, this dictaphone has recorded your retreating footsteps. We'll track you, We'll trace you, Whereever you run we'll find you.. then fine you.

Then sign you...

Up to our record label. Alls well that ends well.

But was signing for Satan Records really a happy ending?

NeverHundred responds:

As long as it's not Satin Records. Actually that's probably a real record label. They probably specialize in R&B, Smooth Jazz and Grindcore.


2013-02-07 14:07:49

They probably also specialise in Hardcore Grindcore.

Haven't these bastards got anything better to do with their time? Apart from appeal to the minority of minotaurs, who give minors a tour of the studio and let them sit on satin cushions.

Honestly, they should be called Sittin' around and doing nothing all day Records.

(Updated ) NeverHundred responds:

Smithin' around doing puddin' all lasers. Is that what you wanted to hear? WELL WAS IT!!! Sure did.


2013-02-08 15:07:16

I think that is what is known as music to my ears. You didn't bring it? Well somebody brought it to my ears! And I want to know who the hell was responsible! Because I'm going to track them and.. and...


NeverHundred responds:

Boogie woogie oogie doogie spoogie looooooooooooogieeeeeeee luigi. Where did did did id go?


2013-02-09 20:19:39

Where did it all go wrong?

NeverHundred responds:

I'm a cardboard robot out in the rain.


2013-02-11 13:35:22

I'm at the window "Linda! You know that cardboard robot is shouting again!" -- "Close the curtains love, you're becoming obsessed with that cardboard robot outside." -- "Shut up! I'm not fucking obsessed... I'm only looking at it." -- "You've been stood at the bedroom window every single night, looking out at that damn robot.. We don't even make love anymore, it's like you love that robot more than you love me!!" -- "Honey, it's not like that, I'm not obsessed.. I'm jus.... wow the robot just did some breakdancing!!" -- "I'm filing for divorce Nietzlawe, I can't take anymore of this."


2013-02-11 13:47:59

I don't know what is more disturbing. My robot obsession or my wife calling me Nietzlawe. It sounds like one big nightmarish dream. But it's not a dream, it's real, the cases are real. And by cases, I mean the cases of whiskey that we ordered.

Now my wife is leaving me, she's had enough.. no not of the whiskey, of my socially inept and psychotic obsessions that threaten to drive her over the edge...

Of a bridge in our Volkswagen. She drove me to it. It's not my fault. I committed the assault.. and vinegar.

(Updated ) NeverHundred responds:

You might want to see a marriage council. Trust me, they're less critical than the marriage tribunal.


2013-02-13 09:57:44

Before I see the marriage council, I intend to see the psychiatrist to find out why I'm deluding myself into believing I'm married.

NeverHundred responds:

Valentine's Day is tomorrow.


2013-02-13 16:02:56

Web Reporting, but how can the dead reporter report or even have a rapport with her colleagues if she's long gone? Gone long wearing long John's long-Johns, that's just plain wrong, like drag queens in a Wong Foo movie. Who the hell am I to spout such rabble? And play bumper cars with Ruth Rendell who wears spandex and GoreTex shoes while hopping through snow, because there's snow business like snowbusiness, like snow business. I hate broadway, I'd rather watch paint dry all day, or experience pain on a really high level. Or get by by getting high and reading the Life of Pi while eating Rye, but during reading, some of it gets in my eye.

NeverHundred responds:

It's better than sports journalism.