I reread the note that she slipped into my computer bag while were shared what I thought was an awkward glance. Apparently she saw something more...

You're kind of cute, we should hang out and have a little fun. Come over tonight if you're interested.

She likes me? I mean, she's not that pretty or anything, a couple years older maybe, I'm like twenty three. She is more on the heavy side, not too much, not overweight, but enough that it's noticeable. She's got reddish hair, her cheeks are round and a bit fleshy her nose is a little long. her facial expression seems too calm, somewhat serious, as if she doesn't want to risk letting the slightest emotion show. But those pale eyes are a bit more lively. Maybe their will be some fun... a little excitement, some adventure for my dull and listless life. Probably not sex though, that would be ridiculous, but it if came to that I'll just let her lead. Hopefully it wont be too bad. Actually, I don't think there should be anything like that. I mean I'm a virgin, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'll mess it up! She'll be left unsatisfied! No, no, their can't be anything like that... unless, maybe if she gives me directions and feedback so I get it right. But no, there is no need for that. Just having something to do for an evening is fine, we can find something fun and exciting that isn't in the same vain as physical interaction.
What do girls like to do anyway? Watch movies? i was never into movies. There are a few that I've liked but I'm not too impressed with them. Listening to music is fun, but not really something to do with company. I don't listen to dance music, and from what we've talked about neither does she.
I want to do something unexpected, I want to go on an adventure. I want to bring army men into a restaurant, each of us has men from a different army, blue and green, or tan and gray. we hide them around the table during the meal and if the waitress or waiter finds a few of the army men those are casualties. Loser pays the bill. But I'm pretty strapped for cash as it is...
Maybe get a box of chalk, roam the streets and draw hearts with random equations in them, or just walk around all night and talk. We could try to play D&D, but I don't think she wants any more company than me. Anyway, I kind of got bored of the whole RPGs thing five years ago. Stratego perhaps?
I'll just go over there, see what happens. It's a little early, but I'm going to walk there so I can meander. It's such a nice day, the trees are singing, the birds swaying in the wind... or something along those lines. The little clouds in the sky scurry about on a day as windy as this. But the sky is mostly clear, it's mid afternoon, but the sun continues to plummet down from the sky toward the horizon.
I'm at her door now. I hesitate, I knock a few times in a stuttering rhythm. No answer, I wait, I begin to knock again but before the second tap, the door swings open. "You're early" She blandly states. She stands in the door way.
"Oh, hello!" I say as cheerfully as I can, but my excitement is muted by anxiety and doubt. "I brought Stratego!" I lift my hands, and sure enough... it's this game, a combination of chess and guess who.
She looks at the box I have with disinterest, she doesn't show anything worse than that. Why doesn't she let me read her emotions.
She turns and starts heading into the house, I pause not sure if she still wants me to enter but than she shouts, "What are you standing outside like that for? The doors still open isn't it?" I try to use my musicians ear to pick out a hint of feeling in that cold distant voice, but it is in vain. I'm not really that good at reading emotions anyway, so it's probably best that she's holding back. I'd probably misinterpret whatever she showed.
I stumble into the house and shuffle across the floor into the living space. She's on the computer, scrolling through a page about the treatment and care of armadillos, "You like armadillos! Those little guys are pretty cool, and sort of cute in a weird way. i like them because they're like turtles of the desert. My spirit animal is the turtle. I like them."
She just closes the page and says, "Tortoises are the turtles of the desert."
"Well..." Not sure of what to say. "That is true, but um... armadillos dig holes and eat bugs." This isn't going well. "Do you have any chalk?"
"Nope." She says as she takes out a cigarette. "Do you smoke?" she asks.
"I don't. I don't really get the appeal of it." I say. "But I don't mind if you smoke, it doesn't bother me."
"What about pot?" she asks, "Do you smoke pot?"
I shrug, "Well, I've been known to..." I'm not sure I like were this is going. Last time I got high I threw up all across my friends bathroom, and the adjacent room. "Do you want to play stratego?" I ask, trying to hide the desperation in my voice.
"No, I do not." She says, she gives me a stare. I back off and sit in a large chair. It is a recliner, it is also broken.
She leaves for about a minute into what appears to be the kitchen. I consider leaving at this point myself, but I stay seated in the reclining chair that does not recline.
She reappears and tosses something at me, "It's a joint." She says.
"I see that." I say as I inspect the dried up plant matter that has been wrapped in a paper that it meant to burn slowly and easily. "I don't have a lighter or anything, i add as I look up at her. And than a light hits me right between the eyes. "Thanks." I say quietly and quickly.
She sits on a chair across from me and scoots it right up close to me.
I lit the joint, I inhale it gently. I pass it to her, she looks at me with a smirk. "Tough man." She says, for once I detect something in her voice. It's sarcasm.
She takes the joint, she inhales and while my toke only gave the end a brief glow, hers took out a fourth of the thing. She passed it back to me.
I lift it to my lips, "Are you sure this is what you want to do. I mean i have nothing against getting high, but sitting around bored out of my skull is what it does to me. Why don't we go somewhere, maybe get a movie? Go to the park? the pool hall?"
"It's too dark out." She says as she snatches the joint from my hands. "Pfft, this is barely enough to get a Mormon high!" than she takes to long hits from the joint, holding it in her lungs, chuckling while she exhales. She gives me the roach, maybe I could get half a hit off it. I try, I don't like the idea of being more clear minded than she.
She's got her hand on my knee and I'm afraid I know where this night is going, I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of her. But she was right, with how little I smoked I wasn't really effected.
She's sitting on me now and I'm not sure what to make of this. She's kind of staring off into space and I'm wondering if I'm even slightly high right now.
"Have you ever been to the desert?" she asks. "There isn't much there is there."
I had never been to the desert, so I nodded, "Yup, not much at all."
"But there is plenty there." She said, "rocks are something, sand is something, there animals and birds too." she turns her head and looks at me. Pale eyes, are they happy or sad, is she as lonely as I am? "It's hidden beneath a lot of nothing, it just seems like a wasteland." Her face comes closer and I think she's going to kiss me. Instead she gets up, her hand grabs mine and she pulls me off the recline less chair.
She leads me through the always into another room with a bed. "I know why you came here." I think, because I'm alone and I have no one to talk to, to share the world with, to make discoveries with. "you want to fuck me." She says.
"Well, um..." I still do have a penis, so... yeah, maybe a little. "Well, I'm not sure I'm the best person for that kind of thing."
She crawls into the bed. She turns on her back, she's waiting for me. I meekly tip toe toward the bed. I sit down, my back to her, is this the best idea. I barely know her, I don't know how to go about this. "You'll show me what to do? If we're going to do this than I don't want to leave you unsatisfied."
She reaches out to me, I lye back, my head on her stomach, I reposition myself. She's take off her shirt and is reaching for the button on her jeans.
I try caressing her neck but she moves away. I try to remember the combinations that work in the newgrounds Let's Fuck games or whatever they're called. There has to be some foreplay involved. But every time I try to touch or play with her she moves away. Maybe she doesn't want to have sex, than why am I here?
"Just stick it in." She says. I don't get it but she repeats, "Just do it, stick it in."
"Are you sure you don't want any foreplay, or anything. A little stratego or something?" I ask. But she's sitting there, her bra is still on and she's pulling down her panties. She is a fairly stocky woman, has a bit of a gut, large breasts, and large thighs. Not really pornstar material. Her eyes are deep, they are her most attractive feature. They seem to always be hiding something, always promising more than her body language would suggest, something more meaningful at least.
She's got a bit of a gut, but her breasts are quite large and shapely. She has wide hips and thighs. Although not the sexiest looking body, it has a certain feminine mark that can provoke arouse. Despite my timid attitude, I'm ready for penetration. I move closer and I do as she asks. A few quick pumps, a few long pumps. I try to gauge her reaction she sort of shimmies and moves with the thrusts but she makes no sounds, her hands are at her sides, and her eyes are closed.
I feel like I'm about to ejaculate and realize I didn't bring a condom and so I pull out. I still come while doing this. "Uh, I kind of... uh... are you, are you aware that I just sprayed my sperm into your, uh body. That might bring something up a few months down the road." She rolls her eyes than her body toward the end of the bed. She reaches toward the night stand and picks something up and flings it at me. Birth control pills. "Okay."
"I don't want a baby and I'm not stupid." She says, she get's up and walks over to the bathroom. I feel kind of sick, why did I do that? I feel like a horrible person, she didn't even seem to enjoy it all that much.
I consider following her, maybe asking her a few questions. The door of the bathroom gives an unwelcoming slam. I never would have anyway, See me sitting there, my pants around my ankles, my dick is hanging out of the hole in my boxers. I'm still wearing my shirt, there was nothing sensual about that experience. I hear the sink running.
I get up, I pull up my pants, had toward the door. I give one look back toward the bathroom, I consider waiting for her, maybe there was something more to this than sex and drugs. Maybe she actually liked me. If not than what, why would she ask me here? What was the point? I'm confused and I feel light headed. I don't know what to say to her, I'm not even sure how I feel about her. i make my way through the house and I find the door that leads outside. I walk through, it's dark out and I'm alone again. I feel better, a little more relieved, for just a moment the oppression leaves. As I walk home I can enjoy the night, I can listen for the insects and look up at the stars. When i get home and go to bed I remember what happened, and the doubt and worry returns. And now I feel bad for leaving without talking to her, I feel bad for going there in the first place. And I feel pity not just for me, but for her. Maybe she wanted to be with someone just as I did, but just like me... she didn't know the right way to do it.