So I voted yesterday. That would have been november third. And dispite my vote same sex marriege is still not legal here in Maine. I find myself not really caring, if I ever really did care at all. It has no bearing on my life, but hey... some people cared. And if it's important to a few of my friends and family than sure, I'll vote to protect it. But a few other people out there decided that they don't like people being happy, so they had to put a stop to it.

I know, big deal... anyone who payed attention to both sides of the issue could tell that the people would vote for the proposal which was actually repealing a law that was in place. But I'm still feeling pretty good right now... you know why? Becuase the marijuana law passed. So even though all the homosexuals in the state can't get married, it's okay... if it brings them down, they can get high. And that solves everything. Right?

But seriously, it doesn't bother me becuase it's innevitable. Even though the same sex marriege law was voted to be repealled, I'm proud of everyone who voted no yesterday. You don't have to be gay to understand that it's really important to some people to have that chance to get married to a person they truly and dearly love. And one day more people will understand that, and many people already understand this.

I woke up on the floor of the accounting office. Thing is I don't really work here, I'm not an accountant at all. I'm not even good with the maths. But such is the life of the wandering nomad you see. The internet connection is really great and there is less shame in using it than using library connections. But this place is not unfamiliar to me, I've lived in this offices before. Back when I was a trail worker for the Lakes Association or whatever it was called.

Oxford county is... I don't know, being this far inland kind of makes me paranoid. Sure there are all the little lakes and whatever... but how can one be free so far from the open seas! I do not know. But this was a place I had one of my finest break downs back in '07. I don't think most of the accountants were pleased. "Oh, it's the boss's crazy son. Why couldn't he had brought his less crazy son, the one with the short hair. Who quietly created art instead of smashing guitars through windows and threatening to cut themselves with the straight razor." oh yes, those were good times. Yes, yes they were.

I'm going to rake some leaves and maybe paint a porch today! unless I go crazy first. Let's see what happens... oh right, you're not here to see what happens. That's okay, I can slowly go mad by myself. Or can I? One needs an audience to properly go mad.

Continuing the saga as promised.

"Who is this guy?" I asked pointing at the cab driver. Quinn, The Toasty Ninja and Hum and I had wandered a few blocks down the street before the cab had parked right in front of us and the driver waved one of his arms at us, the other was in a caste.
"Oh, yeah that guy. We helped him... sort of. I tried to fix his arm." Quinn shrugged. "He uh... fell down a flight of stairs... than he fell up a flight of stairs I guess. Yeah... I don't know his name."
"Okay, so is he giving us a ride to our next destination?" I asked walking toward the car. The people I knew who could forge the papers we needed weren't exactly in town.
"I guess so. We had asked him if he'd be able to help us out for the favor. And he said, 'what favor" But I guess he's cool after all."
So we all jumped in the cab... although we had a robot that weighed something like 230 pounds this didn't seem to impede the cabs ability to travel.
We visited Rupert's Classy Protections Agency, were we gathered paper work in the parallel earth we knew barely anything about. And before we left we had to learn more. Which is why we had one last place to stop.
"Remember that secret underground facility?" I asked my allies during the trip back to the town.
"You mean the Catacombs, the one under the church, the one we flooded, ruining many cadavers and corpses. Not to mention damaging the structural integrity of the cathedral above."
"no, not that place." I said, shaking my head. I had to make many apologize to the architect and the cardinal.
Hum, buzzed and beeped attempting to make a suggestion.
"No, no, not the pump room were we found you... and the other robot. The murderous robot, who killed Aust... and Lardaz saved him by stabbing him. Stabbing him to life." I followed my statement with a sigh of nostalgia.
"What about the underground labyrinth, the one with the mathematician, the massive library were the voices of darkness chanted... taunted and tempted your souls and the backwards speaking scarecrow on the ceiling. Oh and than there was the old man who played checkers... or chess or whatever. And they were all insane." The toasty Ninja suggested.
"uh... you weren't even there for any of that... we found you wandering in an abandoned subway. Also it wasn't that dreadful place either." I looked at him oddly.
"Oh yes, I know. But I was told all about it. It was a very interesting story. Oh wait, what about the subway... and the portal to the dimension with the magic that strangled and the blades... you know the ones, that flew and killed you. I was there for that part."
"No! Not that place either. This was a place we had learned about but never visited. It had to do with a machine that had all the answers. Don't you people remember?"
""I wasn't there for that part." Stated the Ninja. Than he went back to adjusting his top hat.
"I don't remember hearing about that." Quinn said, and Hum just shook his head implying that he didn't know of the place either.
"Well we don't have much time. Cabbie, take us to the middle of no where!" I announced.

So the cab driver suddenly turn the wheel to the right and drove the taxi onto a road that was never there. Driving through the underbrush and the hedges towards a destination we only speculated could have ever existed.
Soon the cab was temporarily lodged in the high branches of a tree, whether or not the leaves of this tree had the capability to make one high we never found out, because the cab didn't stay there for long. It crashed to the crashed to the ground, the only person who looked injured was Cabbie, but he looked injured before.
"Hey buddy, you look as if you might need some fixing up!" Quinn said as he searched his back pack for a amputation device that had miraculously failed to impale any of the passengers.
As memories of the last time this doctor had tried to help him flooded his mind, as he slipped into a flashback his reaction was compulsive, "My spine doesn't bend that way!" He shouted, realizing what he said he popped back into the present. "Uh, no thanks." Than he and most of the group wandered ahead.
"What did you do to that poor fellow." I questioned Quinn.
"I was just trying to help. But in the way that's kind of like... 'your hurting me, please for the love of god stop helping.', yeah, I'm not a real doctor." And it was true, he was a terrible doctor. Also I suspected rape was involved, even though it wasn't. But I still lolled.

We hiked through the hills. And found ourselves on a path that seemed to lead to the right direction. But who are we trying to fool, we have no idea what that even means. forests and wilderness is stupid and we hate camping. We just hoped that we'd be able to... oh wait there it is. wow, we actually managed to stumble on the right place... and who the hell is that mysterious stranger.
"Cab driver, you stay here, but keep the meter running, we'll be back in a moment." I informed the cab driver, he gave me a weird look and than wander over to a tree and sat under it. "Don't give me that look! This is a job for heroes not silly cab drivers!"
The man approached, the only adjective we could use to describe him with was mysterious. But that doesn't really help because in this world everything is mysterious. I mean this is like fuckin' Lost guys! I could throw a polar bear in here somewhere and people would be like, 'what the fuck is up with the polar bear!' but it would only add to the mystery.
"I see you're all looking well.." the man said as he tipped his hat.
"I don't approve of your hat." Quinn stated.
"It is kind of strange." I added, noting that it had a rim and bells tied to string that hung from this rim. It was all very mysterious.
Before he left he turned and congratulated us on a job well done, "Clive you and your little friends here, they're all doing well. And I approve of the work you're doing. Keep it up. But whatever you do... don't mock the hat again. Or you WILL regret it." than he was gone...
"That guys weird." said Quinn, his religion and his pride insulted.
"He is neither good nor evil, like the chess player who plays checkers... with chess pieces" I said as I continued into the building that was carved into a mountain. but than I stopped held my hand out to signal an immediate halt. "It's a trap!" I pointed at a sign that said exactly that.
"wow, you really saved us there admiral." The Toasty Ninja stated, I was proud but I couldn't help but wonder... ever since I had come back from the dead I had been noticing that sometimes when people give praise it sounded differently. Was this a new thing... or had it been there all along, like many other things that I had noticed, like the "trap". What is sarcasm? I asked my self. The party had moved ahead and I came back from my thoughts. and caught up with them.
The only room in this installation there was a massive computer. The Profit 600, built by Compaq.
"Hello visitors." It announced in it's electronic voice.
"Hello new friend!" Toasty stated. I pushed him aside and took charge of the situation, as I often do.
"We want to know why the fuck we came here." I stated.
"You came here looking for answers, you will leave here with important information concerning the one man who can destroy the machine you seek." I hate that monotone electric voice, but I hated it even more when the games began. "Everyone gets one free question... now, we play! It is an animal, a person to be exact. You get twenty questions, the answer t the questions must be yes or no."
We played his game and learned that we were looking for a man that was born in a nearby town, he wasn't famous, or well known. He held no power, and as for as I could tell he had very little when it cam to material wealth.
"Well that was useless." I growled with frustration. We were all very discouraged, what were we doing with our lives! Chasing dreams, running in circles, questioning authority and our own existence, our own will to exist. It's like our entire lives where some sick and twisted game. We pondered over these thoughts, okay I shouldn't speak for everyone... but I pondered over these thoughts as we left the glorified cave.
"Take us back to town cabbie!" one of us demanded. The man looked at us and sighed. "Pick up the pace you useless swine!" The ninja demanded... although it might have been a joke. Actually it definitely was a joke in the grand scheme of things. "Wait!" He realized, "You're the guy!" It took us all a moment but than it dawned on us all.
"My Gods it's true, you are the guy!" I announced at this epiphany. Hum nodded in agreement.
"Well that was easy, he was right here under our noses all the time and we hadn't even noticed." Quinn laughed.
"What are you people talking about? And which mental hospital did you people escape from?" We ignored his questions and began walking aimlessly.
"You must come on our quest through time and space." I explained.
"Yes, our mindless, insane quest, it will be so much fun!" The Toasty Ninja added. "You really must join us. than he adjusted his monocle and top hat once again... for the last time that day I do believe. He was a very British ninja.
"Fuck that." The cabbie stated. "that could get me killed."
"We will pay you a lot of money about 400 dollars, you see we are unbelievably rich."
"We stole from corpses, and libraries and fortresses and..." The toasty ninja continued. "I had a friend who was half bird and half person. He was like the head of a criminal organization and..." we usually ignore that kind of Toasty Ninja banter, "But he's dead now. Or is he? Dun dun DUN!!!"
"Okay, I will join you, just pay me half now." We did, he actually didn't run away which surprised everyone but myself, what can I say I'm a very trusting person.
"like that time you trusted that telepath not to force us to commit suicide." Quinn replied.
"Firstly, just because the griffin is a wild beast/Canadian does not excuse him from killing innocent people, secondly there was no proof that that illusionists and mind manipulator had forced any of those people to commit suicide, and finally you do not respond to my internal dialogue this story is far too complicated as is! And you unlike that unnamed villain, aren't able to read minds so this is entirely uncalled for!" With that over with we found our way to the cab.
"Looks like you wont be carrying us across the rift after all, Mr. Cabbie." Quinn announced... I don't believe he was joking either, he literally expected this 5.8 140 pound man to carry four beings, one of them being a robot that weighed like 280 pounds. And the man was in a caste!
So we traveled to a future where the confederation ruled. And robots were slaves... because they're cheaper to operate I guess. Which brings us to the robotic rebellion... no wait that's a bit later. First there's customs.
After that load of boring we found ourselves in a small industrial town. This is in confederate territory. I got my allies, Quinn, The Ninja and the robot. And we are not fitting in very well with the locals. They view us as a bunch of carpet baggers from up north. And we view them as a bunch of ignorant hicks... so there is a bit of animosity. But it is a war and we are disguised as mercenaries. I guess we're protecting them from Russian Zombies or something.

"We need to find someplace to stay. Than we need... oh look they're deprogramming those robots. Let's observe, but whatever you do don't get involved." I said as we entered the center of town. Before us was a crowd and in the center there was the sheriff. And he was speaking about how robots become evil and eat people and have to be deactivated.
I stepped forward and said to him, "Are you sure that these robots are truly dangerous." They looked like they were built by the same intergalactic corporation that builds all robots, one that is managed in Hosstem Norway, a completely neutral party. Obviously not to be trusted.
The problem with Hosstem Robots is they have souls, which is great. Except most people don't believe machine's can have souls, even in the confederate south, which... let's face it, is ridiculous. I mean the south is one thing, but than we have this place.
All these thoughts I kept to myself, because saying them out loud would have been stupid. And I wasn't in the mood to get shot today.
"Why's it you think you have a right to say anything about our practices outlander!" He stated with a slight drawl.
"Oh nothing. I was just wondering." I said.
"Ah yes, a clean thinker, I like that." He said with a smile. We were getting along just famously before The Toasty Ninja stepped in.
"Unhand those robots!" He announced. I looked at this soon to be toast ninja with... what might have been surprise, but also realization that it was only a matter of time that he was going to get us all killed.
"I don't like you." Said the sheriff as he turned his head towards the ninja, and his hand moved towards a sawed off shotgun he had hosteled to his back.
"On second thought you can keep those robots the way they are." The ninja began to back pedal.
"Who do you think you are." The Ninja was a master of disguise and we all had pseudo names and pseudonyms, "My name is Simon. And I am not a ninja, but a commoner, and a mercenary."
"Are you ready to die?" The sheriff asked.
"No." The Toast replied.
"Than get out of my sight before I make that happen." And so that was are first run in with the law this side or the rift. And if you hadn't noticed it didn't go over well. Because ninjas are not good at making friends... no matter how lonely and needy they truly are.
Wechecked into a hotel, on with a massive five room pad, it was awesome... and they even had a butler... or at least that's what we were lead to believe at first.
"Okay, Hum, you're in charge of the robot rebellion, Toasty Ninja you get to do all the sneaking and espionage, Quinn you're my side kick and I'm going to keep being awesome. Any questions?"
"Would you like any tea?" The butler asked. We all jumped.
"Is it poisoned?" Quinn asked.
"You heard all our plans... do we have to kill you?" The ninja asked.
"Who are you?"
"It is not poisoned, you do not have to kill me and I am the best damn butler to ever exist. Anymore questions?"
"Can we sneak into the sheriff's building and replace all his inkwells with water, or like... pee on his furniture?" the ninja asked.
"You could, but he would not be pleased." The Butler stated. "But if you wanted to the best time would be at eight in the morning, he leaves to stop at his favorite cafe for coffee, than it's off to meet up with Madam Leone. He'd spend perhaps an hour, maybe an hour and a half being entertained"
"who takes that long to be... entertained?" asked Quinn.
"Depends on how many games he plays." The butler stated.than he left to return with tea. We didn't want to get into details about the sheriff's activities. The butler gave us information on the factory thet built components for the machine that powered the inter-galactic time space portals that aloud the confederacy toe expand it's empire across worlds, but not much about the robot's dissidence.

"We're wasting time. I said, Toasty, you and I will sneak into Sheriff Tightwad's home office and find what we can on robot's and there rebellion, Hum, you try to follow any leads you think might help. And finally Quinn..." he wasn't in the vicinity. "Did he go to sleep already?"
"Looked a bit tired." The Ninja stated, "He had the sleepy time tea I do believe."
"Whatever, it's almost two in the morning, we have a big day ahead of us and we need to be well rested. " I was anxious, I don't know how to fire a gun.

As I tried to sleep, a cat stepped on my internet. And now it's broked. sry internet friends. Maybe it was just not meant to be.

But seriously I'm posting from the librarian and I haven't the time to get involved in most internet antics unfortunately. My computers RAM card died, and it just doesn't work the same as it used it... and by that I mean to say that it doesn't work at all.

It was time to speak to The Dean. I had not yet found my book, and perhaps the information I was seeking could be accessed from his office. So once again I traveled through the darkened streets careful not to fall to what would result in certian death. Than I made it back to the university. The very same. Past the library i had been to only a few hours before. It was being attacked by Spiders, the Librarian/Janitor fighting them off to the best of his ability. Than i climbed the tallest tower to the top were I knew the Dean sat waiting for my very arrival. Only he didn't realize I was going to show up.

I kicked in the door, not wishing to waste time with polite introductions or other courtesies. This startled The Dean. "I wish to speak with you. The Dean" I announced. "For I have yet to find the book i was searching for within the campus libraries. All I found was madness and chaos of the most perverse and repulsive kind."
"I'm sorry to hear that." He responded, followed by an evil laugh. "Perhaps we can get your book imported... FROM CANADA!"
"Well, I would but I fear that it's only a matter of time before Jonathan begins his attack on all the nations other than this one. He's a bit... maniacal. And I think he's been frustrated lately." I thought out loud.
"Yes, Jonathan is quite the character. I met him at a cocktail party... I do believe he misunderstood the meaning of a cocktail party for something else." The Dean began to explain but I had no time for such sordid stories.
"I must get a job at this university. So I may access there grand library! I'll need a passport, a letter of recommendation and enough material for at least two more story arcs. Can you do this for me?" I asked.
"Well..." He began, carefully analyzing the situation. "What would you teach?" He asked.
"I know a lot about micro-recreational pork referral." I offered.
"Oh no, no no no. That will not do. They have like forty different professors teaching that very subject you will need to think of something else if you'd hope t get hired at all." He began. He had a lot to say, but I didn't have time for this.
"I might be able to teach music. I know nothing of the subject...but it's just enough to bullshit through a class. Just give me the papers I need." I explained. I didn't want the job I just had to get to Canada, I had people to meet. Things to do, and I was running out of time. I had even forgotten hat the whole reason I was doing all this was for that book that would offer some leisurely reading that had the capability to entertain me for a day or two.
"Yes, here's the papers you need. Would you like to stay and discuss this radical shift in politics?" He asked politely, I declined the offer. "How about I make some tea and pastries and we talk about this ghastly spider attack?" once again I declined. "Please don't leave me here, I am not looking forward to my next meeting and if I hold off long enough maybe they'll just go away." I apologized but I really had to get going.

Outside his office there was a familiar face in the waiting room, on i couldn't quite place. It seemed as if we had met before... recently... Who was this stranger. Oh wait... now I recall.
"Why hello Geeeeeth." I waved awkwardly... Actually that goes without saying. For I'm not very good at waving at people so it is always awkwardly. Keep that in mind if I ever mention waving again in the future, that way I have no need to explain that it is an awkward wave and you may assume so.
"Hey... you're the guy. You know, from the place we met before?" He said with an emphasis on the question mark as if he wasn't sure what he was saying anymore, but was quite sure it had been a question.
"Yes, Geeeeeth, what brings you here? Do you sell your products to this fine establishments staff and students?" I asked.
"Yeah, but that's not what I'm here for today. I remembered what you said... about books and stuff and decided that I had a lot to teach people. You know... about plants. So I'm getting a job to teach people about plants." He explained. I nodded and decided that although Geeeeeth amused me this was a bit irrelevant to the plot so I moved on.

First things first find a master of disguise. I found such a man in a costume shop. You see I'm familiar with many a mercenary organizations so I know where all the cool hang out places are. These are not sexual mercenaries but the more traditional kind. This may or may not be important for later on.
I traveled out of the city and met up with my home base team. Which apparently consisted of a bunch of people who are not aware that I supposedly died. Which I actually hadn't it had all been a ruse you see... to fake martyrdom. To create a God Complex which haunts me to this very day. I spoke with these people and made some arrangements. I said good bye to my friend Yvett, who stated some form of good bye, only with much more complicated words than necessary. She was in the 111 post, the one that was written as a prelude to this one... but she was unnamed. Perhaps you recognize who she was... or maybe you don't. Either way it's not relevant... but none of this really is. She has a son, his name is Eric. He is not my son. Why he's named after the author of the story I don't know. If you thought Eric was my name than it isn't... even though it said it was in the last story. But that has been re-edited. Moving on...

Me and my ally, the one who was disguised as an exact double of myself began our trip north. We parted ways at the border and I had to meet up with some people. Old friends... I had text messaged them before. They weren't expecting that I'm sure. I messaged Renee. Although it was obvious she was drunk when he received the message. The other seven are Quinn, known as a combat medic. Me and him go way back, a religious fellow... but for all purposes in this alternative reality so am I. Toasty Ninja, he's not the best ninja... actually he has yet to do anything that would lead us to believe he is a ninja at all. Likes dressing fancy, and hugs. Hum the robot... he's the token robot of the group. Austin, I think he might have killed a guy. The bird lion thing, I know this thing killed a guy... because I saw it happen. Lardaz, honestly I do not get along with this man. Our approaches are not in synch.

I'm walking into town now. It's been a while since I've been in these parts... like three whole days. I know what you're asking yourself, what the hell is going on. How do I know these people and why would I go into a flash back now?
A few weeks ago me and my friend were on a quest to defeat the confederate south. Quinn and I were fighting a battle, well... he was, I'm a pacifist so I don't fight. We met a Pyrokineticist and his hippie sister, the hippie was Renee. They burned down a forest on accident. I recall that there was a very strange man who thought it was a good idea to stand in the fire. That was Lardaz. Austin showed up later with an Egg, in the egg was what I believe to be a griffin... very common sight in the Canadian wilderness. I have no idea where the robot and ninja came from. I kind of don't want to know actually. Also the pyrokineticist, I forget his name now. He's is gone, kidnapped by prostitutes.

I looked back on this mayhem as if it were yesterday. I entered the food court. Sat at a table and waited. I had almost failed to notice the destruction of the town. Buildings where destroyed, entire neighborhoods evacuated. Apparently my friends aren't very subtle with their methods. I don't even know what the goal is... do any of us?
Suddenly Renee sits down next to me, a the look of shock had never left her eyes from the moment she noticed me. I was poked, in case I wasn't real. Why was she so surprised to see me... oh yeah... I'm supposed to be dead.
"So... uh, you're looking well." She said with a blank expression. I nodded, "Last time I saw you, you were an ear!"
"Interesting." I nodded. Than the robot Hum tried to sit down next to us but he was a bit too bulky. I nodded at Hum, he made a buzzing sound. The only language I still can't understand is robot. I can speak spider but nope, not robot.
"But you do realize that you are alive!" Renee ignored Hum and so did I. He was a little annoyed but used to it I'm sure.
"Yup. I'm aware. So where is everyone else?" I asked. She still expected me to give her an answer. And I didn't have one, not one they'd want to hear anyway."Listen I've decided I know what we need to do but let's speak to the rest of the group."
'They've been sleeping in an abandoned warehouse actually. Most of them aren't awake yet." I had forgotten how early it was, it wasn't even noon yet.

So we traveled by unnamed means across the sad little town. The warehouse was one of the few standing buildings on the block. Inside I found the whole gang, with the exception of the Toasty Ninja. Many of them looked at me with disbelief, some with disgust... specifically the one known as Lardaz. But Quinn was delighted I was alive. He gave me a warm and friendly heterosexual hug.
Lardaz whispered something to Renee, I didn't hear it but it was something along the lines of, "We should talk without him around." It was obvious I wasn't wanted at the moment. So Quin, Hum and I went for a stroll to catch up on the everything that had changed.

"So we found your ear." Explained Quinn, "And we buried it over there, we had a little memorial service like thing. Do you want to see your grave stone?" He smiled, "It's really awesome!"
"Yeah... uh, I think I'll pass on that offer. It might be kind of... I don't know, creepy." I sort of shrugged.
"So yeah, what happened?" he questioned. "What did you see? What was there to death... was the bleakness and darkness that was promised to us all? By our sovereign gods?"
"I don't really remember much from my death. I'm sorry. I don't really remember dying either. I guess it was a bit traumatic." I sort of said in a tired tone, trying to hint that this really wasn't a comfortable subject for me. But Quinn didn't quite catch on and carried on with questions and suggestions about what to do next. I explained that when I returned I began organizing prevention and information conferences on the tear in the time space continuum. Not enough people take it seriously enough in The U.S. even though some kind of gateway where to a would were The Confederate South not only won the American Civil War but grew into a super power and opened a rift into our universe for no other reason than to fuck with us.
He explained that in a mad attempt to go through to this parallel universe they may have accidentally blown up half the town. Although they're sure that they have found the power sources that allow such trans-dimensional time space travel... they just aren't entirely sure how to use them.
"You see the time machines are powered by these strange batteries." He began to explain.
"Yes I'm aware, I have been studying Lovecraft's work." I began. "He had the proper thoeries for how time travel would be possible."
"You mean the famous physicist Howard Lovecraft, the one who came up with many a thoery on space and time?" Quinn speculated.
"The very same." I announced dramatically. Why I stated such a well known and common fact dramatically I will never be quite sure.
We continued our conversation eventually running into the toasty ninja who had apparantly robbed a top hat store... for he had copious amounts of top hats, where he aquired the monicle I will never know.
"Hey guys, I bought this monocle from a wizard!" He squeefully stated while engaging in spinning in circles. Well that explains everything... except that wizards don't actually exist. Best guess: got it off a dead guy.
"Your hat looks very classy." I somberly complemented his new found look. "Now let's go back to the warehouse." I turned around and we traveled back through the crumbling streets until we found the place.

We walked inside and the whole team was assembled. Instantly Renee, Austin, Lardaz and the griffin stopped there conversing. As if they were afraid that spies had entered there secret base of operations. Renee drew her blade, Lardaz had moved his hand toward his gun. I got the feeling that I may still not be welcome.
"Hi guys!" Toasty shouted loudly, "I brought top hats!" he offered everyone a classy hat. Renee began stabbing the hat with a sword... it was more in a playful manner I suppose. Toasty frowned though. He offered me a hat, I accepted it.
"It might come in use later." So I kept it with my book and my other papers. I wish I hadn't have lost my journal, I should really buy a new one. It's a shame not to document these adventures.
But than I turned to the group. I had decided I knew what had to be done. Whether or not the group agreed with me was the tricky part. "We find a way through that rift and we destroy the time machine. I have reason to believe it's what allows for them to travel cross dimensions and through time. So we travel to there world and work against them from the inside."
"How do we know he even has any idea what he's talking about." The griffin asked... not expecting me to answer.
"Because I have this book. And it has given much information on the subject." I pulled out the book of trickery and deceit. I know it sounds bad, but don't judge a book by it's title. Everyone was a bit too stunned, up til now only the Canadians had understood what the griffin was saying. Since Griffins are Canadian you see. But I had taken up the ability to understand nearly everyone... except robots.
"Since when do you understand Griffinspeak?" I was asked by someone in the crowd. i shrugged and continued my own speech.
"I understand much more of the world than I did before. But i must stress that we work toward destroying these machines. How are we going about it?" I looked at each of my allies and than Lardaz pulled out his own book. He flipped through the pages and showed the book to Renee. They wouldn't share any of there own information with us yet I gave them everything I knew... well, everything that was important to fulfilling our quest.
"We're going to Britain." She announced. That made no sense to me. Not even in this crazy world.
"What's in Britain?" I asked.
"It doesn't matter you can travel to the past, or the other dimension or whatever. We just want to know who's coming with us and who is going with you." The split was surpringly easy... with the exception of the toasty ninja.
"But I don't want to choose between which group I have to be with!" He complained. "Want to be with both!"
"No it's for the best." I said, everyone else agreeing with me. "Obviously a group of this size wouldn't be able to infiltrate enemy territory."
"But I'll miss you guys too much!" Said the ninja, as he wiped a tear from his cheek. "I cant decide which group I would miss more." he added.
"We don't want him." Lardaz coldly announced. And that ended the discussion.
Renee, Austin, Lardaz and the griffin were going across the ocean while Quinn, Hum The Toasty Ninja and I were going to cross time itself.
"Okay." I said, "I suppose it's for the best. As long as your goal is the same as ours than perhaps choosing different paths towards it will lead us to better chance at victory."

I already had a plan. And large numbers probably wouldn't have helped me all that much. I needed to rely on stealth and subtlety if I was going to be successful in my mission so we left the ware house wondering if we'd ever see those four crazy kids again. Maybe my three companions might, but I was already living on borrowed time as is.
"So... did I mention I know a lot of mercenaries?" I stated while the four of us traveled to our next destination.

the words. they cease.

As you read this you have no idea what I speak of. Well I was at the library a few days ago. And I was talking to whom I presumed to be the librarian. Whether or not he actually was the librarian I will never know for sure. I was looking for a specific book, on of Lovecraftian origin. But it would not be found in a place such as this. This library was far too neat, too new... it was clean and shiny. Not rustic, not classic... not dusty, or musky... not anything like how a library should be. There were spiders too. But I will get to that part when it comes up. That is if I even get that far.

First thing you notice when walking into a library is the desk, and the librarian behind it. The person behind the desk looked like no little old lady... he was a brute of a man, last person you'd expect to see running a library. I said to him, "I'm looking for some books."
His response, was in a gruff voice and a short tone. "We have books there, there and there." He pointed all about the library.
"I'm looking for some specific books." I stated. as I reached for a few of the books on his desk, of course he stopped me from getting close to his books.
"Them's my spider killin' books." he stated. making it clear that those books were off limits. It was an odd response though. "They're good reads, but even better for smashin' spiders." He explained.
"I see... is that what you spend most of your time as a librarian? ...killing spiders?" I questioned a bit confused at the eccentric book keeper.
"I work hard and hard work rewards me. That's the problem with you kids these days. You live it life easy with your magic tricks and air trains and gravity tokens you get on falling awareness day. When I was a boy we didn't have falling awareness day... if you fell, you fell. And you better have damned well preyed that you landed on a foreigner."

Yeah... that was enough of talking to the librarian. I decided I'd quickly return to my task and find those books. So I wandered deep into the dark and dreary labyrinth of bookshelves, tables and desks. This library seemed much larger on the inside than it had looked from the outside. And before me there was a spider. He looked up at me... so I said, "hello." Becuase I can understand spiders you see.
"Please don't kill me." He begged. For he was hurt and unable to defend himself.
"I won't hurt you little spider. I'm just looking for a book. Maybe you could help me..." I began to ask. But the spider had started to quake in fear.
"Books!!!" He squealed. "Books are scary. They fall from the sky and kill my family! Smelly man's gonna get you. they say so... When you start to hear a thumpin', you know he's a comin'!!!" I helped the spider to a safe place wished him safety and returned to my quest.

Than I saw an old friend. It wasn't a surprise since she was always spending time in the library. I said hello, she was startled as she had been immersed in a book. I asked her what she was reading and she said. "It's a terribly captivating publication. It's part of several editions scripted about the lock wrench, an interesting piece of equipment. It describes and explains it's uses, history and manufacture! It's blatantly enthralling. Yes, it certianly is." I nodded half-heartedly, and she returned to her readings. I thought of saying more but two things stopped me. Firstly I had no intention to really disrupt her studies and secondly I knew if I disturbed her again she'd feel compelled to explain to me all the uses and advantages of whatever a lock wrench was. So I decided to leave her to such things...

I was getting frustrated. As I continued weaving between the isles of book cases, I couldn't make sense out of this backwards library. This place was dewy decimal be damned! The books were organized not by numbers, alphabet or subject but by color and and smell. And I had a stuffy nose that day so I was ill equipped to discover this libraries secrets. I came across another person who seemed to have a better understanding of the libraries workings.
"Hey, I was just looking..." But he cut me short with a loud hush. He put his finger over his mouth and shook his head no. But I wasn't going to be derailed by library rules and etiquette. "What... so are you a librarian?"
"No." He answered abruptly, but still softly. "I just like to whisper." A fact he proved in his answer by whispering it. Which only confused me further.
"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic if you whisper." I announced. And the quiet was broken by a familiar shout in the distance.
"Spiders!!!" and than a crash as several book cases toppled over. The whispering man looked at me and rolled his eyes. I just shrugged and jogged off, for I had an objective I had yet to accomplish.

So I came to the Cryptic section of the library. A perfect place to begin and possibly end my search for a book of my liking, and of my choosing. I wantonly shuffled through the books on the shelf, throwing and discarding many a manuscript indescribably. Until I simply stopped and opened a book. On the first page it said, Hello And that's all that was written on that first page.
So I flipped that page on to the next page all it said how so on the next page the only word was are and on the next the only word was you?. Strange.
On the next page it said, how can you be strange? I looked about the room with an odd glance, I was completely alone by this point. There had been some student studying at a table not some bit away, but they had moved on.
"I'm looking for a book, maybe it's a friend of yours. Do you know where I could find the lovecraftian section?" I asked and I turned the page. everything you need to know that's all it said, so I flipped to the next page.is on the next page. So I carefully turned to the next page. But the writing fulled out the entire page, and it was nearly microscopic, I was unable to make it out at all. I flipped to the next page hoping to see the books excuse.
I know, I'm a douche. Is what I read. I nodded. Than flipped back through the pages. None of it was changed it was all written out that way. I flipped to the back of the book. The last page in the back said, you and the page before that said thank.

I pondered this. But realized if I wanted to read the part of the book that actually had answers I'd need some sort of help. Like a magnifying glass. I walked back through the library towards the front desk. There I found the spider hating librarian all a buzz about spiders.
"Hello. I am looking for something else." I stated as I approached the crazed librarian.
"Everything you need is here... in this library." He said in a creepy... creepy voice. But what am I saying, his voice had always been creepy. It was just more so.
I shuddered on the inside and had to ask, "Do they really pay you?"
"No." he promptly responded.
"You eat spiders don't you?" I asked half joking, half not wanting to know the answer to that question.
"A man's got to eat." He said, his grin showing his sharpened green teeth. Than he laughed, as if it had all been a joke. But no... it hadn't been a joke at all. Not at all. And we both knew it.
"Magnifying glass, where are they?" I armed my question with the weight that would give lesser men blunt force trauma.
"Well, there was that one I smooshed and broke... on a spider of course."
I nodded and silently repeated 'of course." than I asked the demented archivist aloud, "how many where there?"
"More than three." He grunted primitively.
"You can't count can you." I taunted.
"Yeah! I can count!" he immediately defended... and he gave me a threatening look. The kind he usually reserved for his spider friends I'm sure.
"than how many where there!" I demanded, getting tired of this bizarre game. I had been in this library for god knows how long, and I was getting sick of it, and I was getting sick of you... I pointed at the librarian.
He simply rummaged under his desk, pulled out what appeared to be a heavy box. He grunted as he heaved the large box onto the surface of his desk. He opened it to reveal that it was filled to the brink entirely with magnifying glasses. "Well looky here." He stated smugly.
He pushed the box toward me and said with that disgusting green grin, "That's more than three isn't it!" He said loudly and triumphantly. "Isn't it, smartass!!!"

I ignored him, and quickly grabbed a magnifying glass. "I'm borrowing this." I stated, and I returned to a secluded place to explore the findings that was in this mysterious book. I opened to the page with the tiny writing. II focused on the first word that word was es, I was a bit confused so i read the rest of the sentience, Es ist schwierig, das Buch zu finden Ihr Suchen nach aber nicht unmöglich German! I failed that class.
"You stupid, stupid book I hate you!" I screamed. I threw it across the room in a tantrum. I crossed my arms, faced the wall and sulked for a moment only to turn right back around and pick up the damned book and open it to the next page I hadn't read.
you should have paid better attention in class. I saw on the page. Than I turned to the next page, I don't appreciate being insulted or thrown across the room. I hastily turned the page. Please turn the page again. the words on the page beckoned. So I did just that. This page was written in explosive ink. "heh" I thought, my next thoughts would have been about how explosive ink couldn't possibly exist... well it would have been, if the book hadn't exploded.
But it was still okay, I was still okay and the library was intact. Sure I was in pain, but I was still alive. So i concluded that this was the coolest book ever to exist. So I picked it up and flipped to the page after explody page. that will teach you to underestimate me. I closed the book and trotted through the library. I went up tp spider eatin' Joe and I said.
"I think I found just the book for me." I stated gleefully. He looked up from either a book he was reading or a spider he just killed wearing a deranged smirk.
He began grimly, "Is it blunt. With a spine of steel. With spike... and... tenderizers." I stood awkwardly as he explained the perfect weapon in a literary form.
After he finished talking I shook my head, and quietly said no. I checked out the strange book. I left that library and never looked back. Yet I still wanted to read a Lovecraft book.

Outside the library were the usual druggies and pushers, selling there merriweed, and meth. So I wanted to know if there was anyone on the street selling any lovecraft novels, because you see lovecraft is the psychedelic drug of the literary world. Well, that is if you took acid only ever expecting to have bad trips.
"Hello, Drrrnt" I greeted an old high school friend. One who obviously was far more successful than I becuase he was making a lot of money selling drugs... and sexual favors. But it turns out I was wrong and this wasn't Drrrnt... but Geeeeeth. A common mistake, I'm sure.
Although he didn't recognize me I explained that we went to school together and that I remembered him back when we used to get high... although neither of us really hung out in the same circles. He had his friends he'd smoke merriweed with, I had my friends. Now I don't really have time for it, and most of my friends had stopped. But we're still cool, like in high school.
"I remember high school..." He stated when I mentioned our old school. "They were like you can't do that here and I was like... no man, I can do that here. And they were like, you can't be there, and I was like yeah man, I can be there." I nodded totally in agreement, yet not entirely understanding what he was saying.
"Okay Geeeeth, listen, I am looking for something. It's not drugs though..." I began, and he interrupted.
"Just tell me what you're after and I'll listen, because I'm good at focusing." He said... as his eyes glazed over and he stared off into space I don't know where he went but he didn't respond for like three whole minutes.
"Okay, there is a specific item I'm looking for..."
"An item! Like... okay there was once this bong and I'm telling you... you smoked from it and it would blow your mind. Like literally seven people dead. And my friend was like, hey you want a hit? And i was like, no man... I'm good. Because I was good."
"Yes but I'm not looking for a bong, I'm looking for a book." I was trying to say but he kept on about stuff.
"I had a teacher nd they were like, I respect plants. And I was like, that's cool I can respect plants. And she was like, hey class lets respect plants."

And so I left. And so I decided to talk to a law and political science major of the most unusual sort. His name was Jonathan And he said "hello." and I said, "hello."
He seemed like a decent enough fellow... until you realized he was a fascist, and completely insane and emotionally unstable. But besides that he was alright.
"So you are looking for some H.P. Lovecraft. That's very interesting. But it wont end the war." He stated.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said. Because there was not war at the time. Not a real war, only police actions and other bullshit.
"No we cannot win the war until all the economy, and all the government is strictly regimented by the one party."
"Well... that sounds all well and good." At the time I didn't know very much about politics, nor did I really care. "But I just want to find a book."
"No!" He shouted. "No! You cannot find this book! It is not aloud and it will not happen!" He seemed to have become very passionate and a bit unstable. "And Maxie is a bitch, and you should not speak to her! You are forbidden to speak to her!" I really had no idea what he was talking about. He was knocking over tables, pushing around furniture, throwing papers and other things. I just quickly got out of there.
So I tried his neighbor. A quiet man, I had some questions. "I knocked on the door, he politely answered I introduced myself, he invited me in. We had tea and such a delightful time I had nearly forgotten why I had barged into his home in the first place.
"Jonathan." I stated suddenly in the middle of one of his many interesting stories of his trips to the South Pacific.
"Oh, yes. Jonathan, the raising politician." He said somberly.
"How did you know of the one I did speak of!" thoughts of mind reading techniques and anxiety that anything of my personal life was no longer sacred.
"Well there really could be no other. As he is quite the character. I had invited him and his little lady to one of my many extravagant and luxurious parties."
"And who was this woman you do speak of?" I queried. As I deviously sipped at my poisonous tea. He didn't poison it, no I added it for flavor to my own cup after It was served.
"Well, when Jonathan arrives at a party everyone else seems to fall into the background. He's sort of the life of the party. He tends to be vary passionate, colorful, load and at times probably dangerous. But the woman he was with was called Michelle, Megan... Maxie, yes Maxie was here name." He nodded thoughtfully. "I heard that they had a bit of a falling out though. They were to get married at some point... no one really knows the full story except the two of them I'm sure."
"That's all I needed to know. Thanks for the tip." And just like that I was on the case, Clive Wistnell the love detective.

Or no wait, I wasn't dabbling in the problems of other peoples relationships. I thought to myself as I rang the bell at Maxie's pad. Oh shit, I'm already here and I just rang the bell. The door opened and the sweetest kindest looking young woman opened the door.
"Hello." I waved my hand in an awkward manner. "Are you literate?" I than asked. She began to close the door. "Wait, I just wanted to know if you had a book that I've been looking for." I started over.
"I don't really have very many books. I just gave many of them away in a book drive, you know... for the children." She said coldly and she began to shut the door.
"No wait, you wouldn't have given this book away to the children." I stated, as I put my foot in between the door and the door frame, preventing her from closing it entirely. "It's not the kind of book that kids should be reading."
"That's disgusting!" She shouted!
"No, I didn't mean that kind of book either. Look I was just at Jonathan's..." Bad move, but hey it's not like I could do any worse.
"Jonathan!!! That bastard! He's always either living it up at a party or trying to push his fascist agenda!" She shrieked. "I keep telling him, it's got to be one or the other! You can't have it both ways. Totalitarian dictators do not like parties, they only like one party and that's there own!" She scowled, I still had my foot in the door. It was probably broken but it was still in the door.
"Yeah, I get it. He's a jackass, I just want that book though. Just tell me anyone you might know who might have the book." I pleaded.
"Try my second cousin, he's a fan of erotic novels." So I left to head for another lead. Another name, another address... why did I keep on trying. It wasn't even a good lead... but I had gotten too far to give up now.

The apartment was on the top floor of a very tall building. the door was already open. Inside the man was home, he was working on some strange contraption. It had long spindally legs, some sort of body... it was certianly odd.
"Hello, I suppose you're in search of something." he announced, he didn't look up from his activity. "a book perhaps." He didn't turn around or look at me. it was somewhat eerie.
"Yes. A book, Lovecraft... heard of him?" I asked knowing he'd obviously say yes. Afterall everyone knows who Lovecraft is.
"Never heard of it." He stated, I was in shock and I was pretty damned disappointed. "You should try the library."
"I already tried. I couldn't find it and the librarian who hates spiders wasn't very helpful."
"You mean the janitor who hates spiders." He stated reflectively. "You see, I like spiders." He announced, never looking up from his task. He was quiet for a moment and than... the thing on the table began to twitch and move.It scurried to it's feet and I realized it looked just like areal live arachnid.
"How did you... what did you..."
"Silence fool." He stated. "Because spiders are cool. a few weeks ago I played a practical joke on the janitor, his name is Warden. He hasn't been the same since."
"that is cruel and unusual." I stated, searching for the best escape routes.
"I don't think so... I think it's delightful. Spiders are the greatest. They can do all sorts of tricks." he beamed with pride, than he looked at the spider that was scurrying around on his table. "Go get him, go get the fool." He said. And the spider leapt across the table the floor and to an open window. It proceeded to fling itself out the window.
"Do you want a spider?" the man asked me. He didn't want for a response before flinging something at me. "think fast." with a short high pitch shout I braced myself flailing my arms in hopes of keeping the eight legged predator away. but all that happened was I managed to catch a piece of paper. On the picture was an excellent detailed drawing of a spider.
"Oh... this is just a piece of paper with a spider drawn on it." I said with a sigh of relief. Spiders are great, but I don't want on on me. If a spider was actually on me, that's a different situation.
Unfortunately at a snap of the mans finger the spider on the paper began to crawl out of the paper. I threw the paper away from my body and jump a foot away from the thing. The man laughed. I decided it was time to leave this place.

I never did find that book. But I'm too tired to search further tonight. Perhaps another time.

So I went to the park today... or commons, whatever it's called. They have a gazebo, they have some trees, they have hotdog stands. I play my guitar there sometimes but not today. Today was searching for adventure... know what I found! nothing... it was boring. None of my friends showed up, even though they said they'd be there. I didn't have anything to do, and I was bored.

So I sat there waiting for the next big thing to happen. But nothing happened. I didn't see anyone or anything interesting. No crazy bums asked me for change, no gang violence broke out... I wasn't even kidnapped by mutant fraggles that wanted to eat my brains. It was a total and complete borefest.

Where is your anarcho-socialist utopia now fraggles! That's right, we nuked it to shit! Because that's what we do to cultures we don't understand!

I considered multi-classing into expert or bard, but in the end I just chose another level of commoner.

I went out to the supermarket. I was just skipping through the isles sezrching for foodstuff. And I saw the back of this young woman's head, and half of it was shaved off... like the right side, and the left was in a pony tail, but there was like this scar that looked like it was from some sort of brain surgery. It was quite out of place and strange.

And so I bought some chips.

So I'm waiting in the parking lot, so I can travel with haste the towns taxi service. So I find a spot wear I know I'll be visible to the cab when it arrives, and there was this woman with a cellphone talking about some insurance benefits or unemployment or something that they needed. Now I'm not one to eaves drop but I had no were else to stand. And also I am definitely the type of creepy ass weirdo who eaves drops.

But it was kind of hard to ignore people sometimes and there are some phrases and statements that you just can't ignore. Such as, "abusive relationship" "I'm homeless now" and "My mothers boyfriend just tried to choke me"

The world is terrible, I'm going to go lock myself in my room and hide under my bed. I still can't help but suspect that the woman with the scars brain was taken from her head and replaced with a computer and she doesn't even know it yet. I also bought candy.